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Hello and welcome back to TZ.I hope you like this better than the last one because it sucked.

WHAT IS THE BEST SHOEFOR SKATEBOARDING?
If you ever looked around at peoples shoes that skateboard they have different names than your average Nike or Reebok.They say stuff like DC or Etnies.They have these shoes beccause of the grip or effect they have with skateboards.People mostly say that DC and ES suck,well how would they know.They never tried then on.Test results show that DC and ES are the best skateboarding shoes in the U.S.They're the best because of the grip,handling,and triple padding so if you kickflip to much it never makes a hole.That is the reason skate shoes are 50-100 bucks.

INTERVIEW WITH TYRANT MONKEY (THIS IS AS SHORT AS CRAP)
TZ:WHAT DO THINK ABOUT SKATEBOARDING?
TYRANT MONKEY:ITS OK
After that "interview" I thought,"what the heck,it was an iterview".

WHAT BOARD IS BEST AND WHY
When people say Tony Hawk's because he's the best.Well its not.Its Element because they have feather-lite boards.Why are feather-lites good?They'er good because lite boards have the best pop for ollies but the only problem is they can snap if you boardslide to much.Birdhouse isnt to bad,if you ride vert.You can still ollie and crap on it but it's alot harder because it's so heavy.

Well,I hope you like it better than the last and if you hate I dont care because thats how I write.

------
Welcoming To My World...


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Comments

The following comments are for "TENSOR ZINE #3"
by kickflip

Disturbing, Distressing.
Kickflip: As far as I can tell, you have done none of the things suggested to you. You have not attempted to correct your grammar and spelling errors. You have not laid off the capslock. You have not added content to a 'zine' which is, as far as I can tell, little more than drivel about how great skateboarding is and how much you don't like Tony Hawk.

Please, please, please, at least make an effort toward rendering these things readable. If no one cares, why write it?

( Posted by: Beckett Grey [Member] On: December 5, 2001 )

I'm trying to be positive here
Actually, I see some improvement. Remember, we're idiots. We don't know what an "ollie" or a "boardslide" is, nor do we care. This isn't a skateboard site. So, remember your audience.

Instead, tell us things about skateboarding that non-skateboarders would understand or find interesting. You are not just writing just for your friends.

Can't you tell us about injuries. Ya know broken bones sticking through the flesh.

How about the greatest crashes you've ever seen? That would appeal to non-skateboarders and skateboarders alike.
Or put us in your shoes. Tell us what if feels like to be flying through air. The excitement, the rush, the fear of knowing that you may be you're doing something great, but you also might crack your skull.

And remember, if you mention an "ollie" tell us what it is. We can't be interested if we can't see it in our mind's eye.

Parteepants

( Posted by: Richard Dani [Member] On: December 5, 2001 )

Improved and Room for improvement
kickflip,

I think you have improved quite a bit, at least formatting wise. And that's excellent in itself. It show's that you care about your writing and that you wish to improve your craft.

I validated this one because there was visible improvement over your last attempt. Because of that, I think your on the right track and letting it pass will get you some more feedback and keep you going down the right path. Hang in there bud, your doing just fine.

Here are a few more things to work on.

Take your time. It's obvious your just kicking these out. That's going to be okay once you've mastered your craft, but I doubt anyone here would be so brasin as to rush through a submission, especially on a pay job. Slow down and think it through. Your work will improve paramount.

Spacing. When you hit the end of a sentence and start a new one, you'll want to put space between them. I noticed in a few places that your sentences run together.

Also, I see broken sentances in mid sentance when word wrapping should have taken care of that. Let your editor, or the posting screen word wrap for you. Only use ENTER to add space between paragraphs, like I've done here. As you see, it's clean and flush from end to end.

Lay off the caps. Caps should be used sparingly. First off, they are a formatting oddity. They don't look very nice in most cases. They should be reserved for special purposes, like headings in a newspaper ad.

Spelling and Grammar. I'm bad at this myself, so I read, re-read, and then read it again. Then I run the spell checker a time or two to catch more errors.

Your last sentance disturbs me most. If you don't care, then don't write. It's not an excuse to say "that's my style" as you implied. That's not style at all. If if that's the way you write and have no interest in improving, then your at the wrong site, I would suggest doing a search for skate boarding or DBZ at www.google.com and hang with fans of what you love. A writing site, designed for helping you improve your writing is no place to insult the effort we've put into helping you improve. I'd like to stress, if you have no interest in writing, we have no interest in reading about skate boarding.

Again, you've shown some improvement. Keep going if you feel you like writing enough to care. I bet if you put a bit more effort into your submissions, you'll end up a fine writer.

-Chrispian

( Posted by: Chrispian [Admin] On: December 5, 2001 )

Hey!
Could have told me it was an "interview" and I would have said more! But as stated three times now - more improvement is needed. I'm sure you can do it, too. Your words flow when you speak - So try speaking what you are going to type before you type it. I'm sure it will help!

( Posted by: Tyrant Monkey [Member] On: December 6, 2001 )

thanks
yeah you guys are right thanks tyrant

( Posted by: kickflip [Member] On: December 6, 2001 )

Unknown
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( Posted by: Vilyamyl [Member] On: December 25, 2007 )





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