Just to warn everybody, i have decided to start doing a column until everybody tells me to stop doing it. It will be mostly on the music industry, but it may cover entertainment in general. For my first installment, i did an article on Grammy predictions, and it was fairly well-received, so i am turning it into a trilogy, Matrix style. And just like the Matrix, the first one will be good and the last two will probably be kinda boring, but some people may still be interested, so here it goes. This installment shall cover Rock related categories.
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Best Hard Rock Performance: Like A Stone- Audioslave, Bring Me To Life - Evanescence Featuring Paul McCoy, Straight Out Of Line - Godsmack, Just Because - Jane's Addiction, Go With The Flow - Queens Of The Stone Age
Here we go. These are my boys! Growl, monkeys, growl! Except John from Queens. You just use that silky stoner voice to all its perfection. Now this is a tough one. Critical acclaim, overall popularity, most fitting of category title, of just a great song? Which is more important? Audioslave has got the acclaim, but Like A Stone isnít really a hard rock song. Not like Cochise. They should have nominated that one. Bring me to Life was everywhere. I mean it. Everywhere. Literally. I heard it in the shower, even when no one was singing. I love the song, but damn, give Going Under some play, or Haunted. Straight Out Of Line seems to me to be the most fitting because it is the most hard rock song in the category, but I donít think Godsmack has ever been nominated before, so I doubt they will win for a song off an album that flopped compared to its predecessors, no matter how good it is. So I say all hail Queens Of The Stone Age, you stoned bastards!
Who should win: Straight Out Of Line
Who will win: Like A Stone- Audioslave
Best Female Rock Vocal Performance: Are You Happy Now? - Michelle Branch, Losing Grip - Avril Lavigne, Trouble - Pink, Time of Our Lives - Bonnie Raitt, Righteously - Lucinda Williams
Okay. First question. When did Lucinda Williams become rock? Did I miss a memo? Second, when did the Grammy finally decide Bonnie Riatt was okay after ignoring her all these years and what took so long? Pink is good, but this was not one of her most successful singles. If the Grammyís had been held 3 months earlier, Avril would have been most likely, but not now. Then there is Michelle. Sexy, talented, sexy Michelle. The girl who was able to sit next to Carlos Santana playing guitar right along with him. Did you read her latest article in Maxim? Man, she looked great! If she had been holding a guitarÖÖoh. Right. Article.
Who should win: Time of Our Lives - Bonnie Raitt (just because she should have won one years ago!)
Who will win: Are You Happy Now? - Michelle Branch
Best Male Rock Vocal Performance: New Killer Star -David Bowie, Down In The Flood - Bob Dylan, If I Could Fall In Love - Lenny Kravitz, Gravedigger - Dave Matthews, Return Of Jackie & Judy - Tom Waits
I have a tremendous respect for every single artist in this category. I really do, donít get me wrong. But these are the best rock songs of the year? THESE? THESE?!?!? Thatís it, I give up.
Who should win: Whatever solo song Johnny Rzeznik did this year
Who will win: I donít even care. Dave Matthews?
Best Rock Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocal: Times Like These - Foo Fighters, There There - Radiohead, Calling All Angels - Train, Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes, Disorder In The House - Warren Zevon & Bruce Springsteen
Now this is more like itÖto a degree. Still no Pearl Jam, but it will do. Now, my favourite is Seven Nation Army, and it is entirely likely. I mean very, very likely. However, Times Like These took on a whole new meaning after 9/11, and the awards shows are still trying to milk 9/11 for everything itís worth. Great, great song, but I hope it doesnít win just so the Grammy people arenít encouraged.
Who should win: Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes
Who will win: Times Like These - Foo Fighters
Best Rock Song: Bring Me To Life - Featuring Paul McCoy, Calling All Angels - Train, Disorder In The House - Warren Zevon & Bruce Springsteen, Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes, Someday - Nickelback
Another tough one to predict. The Grammyís love Train and Nickelback, The White Stripes have great critical acclaim, and Evanescence was everywhere. My heart tells me to go for acclaim, my gut tells me to go for popularity, but not too much. Plus Seven Nation Army may be a bit too heavy for this category.
Who should win: Someday - Nickelback
Who will win: Bring Me To Life - Featuring Paul McCoy
Best Metal Performance: Did My Time - Korn, mOBSCENE - Marilyn Manson, St. Anger - Metallica, Smothered - Spineshank, Inhale - Stone Sour
I like Stone Sour, but this song is more Hard Rock that metal. And Spineshank is still sorta underground, so thatís not very likely. Marilyn Manson is my favourite in this category, but Manson will never win an award just because awards shows are afraid of what he may say in his speech. Now, last year I published an article saying Norah Jones is the anti-christ, and I stand by that. But if Metallica wins, then itís only because they sold their soles to her! I donít care about Napster. They can bash Napster all they want. But when you are a repeating Multi-Plantinum band and you release an album that sounds like it was recorded about the time of the phonograph and win an award, then you deserve to go to hell. You have fans that were willing to stick by you. Give them an album they can listen to without getting a fucking headache!
Who should win: mOBSCENE - Marilyn Manson
Who will win: Did My Time Ė Korn (or Satan)
Best Rock Album: Audioslave - Audioslave, Fallen - Evanescence, One By One - Foo Fighters, More Than You Think You Are - Matchbox Twenty, The Long Road - Nickelback
Why do they insist on torturing me like this? They give me so many categories where no one deserves an award, then one where they all deserve it? Okay, The Long Road is too recent to build that kind of reputation. That eliminatesÖone guess. Shit. Okay, Audioslave was critically acclaimed, Evanescence was everywhere, but Matchbox Twenty was both. But One By One contained Times Like These, a song so popular that 2 different versions of it held spots on the chart at the same time. Oh, hell.
Who should win: More Than You Think You Are - Matchbox Twenty
Who will win: Fallen Ė Evanescence
Well, that's all for this installment, kiddies, but like bubble-gum pop, i just won't go away. I'll give you all a couple days to digest this and come back just in time to finish off with the Pop related categories. Until someone tells me to stop.