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Turds in shirts chant
buzz words
sound bites that merge
into steamy piles of lies
empty rhetoric
brave new world
new dawn
third way
fourth reich
preached to castrated society
barely awake or aware
don't dare question
an eternal contract forged in hell
for profit, position, power
codecilled clause; fuck the poor.

------
In five hundred years time, most of us will be forgotten dust. But Hitler will still be remembered, God loves irony.


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The following comments are for "Jerkspeak"
by Ogg

Point taken
I accept that not everybody is unable to sift through the crap that's slung at us on a daily basis. But, some pencil-necked, half-witted sheep worrier gave me that one push too many, so it's no more Mr nice-poet.
Grr (and snarl - with a flared nostrils event thrown in for good measure)
Seeya
Paul the Ogg

( Posted by: Ogg [Member] On: January 22, 2004 )

starts strong..
Ogg~

I really like the opening few lines of this poem as well as the overall message, very powerful on both counts. My only problem is with the last few lines. They seem forced and therefore weak, bringing down the overall quality of what otherwise is a really good poem.

Bart

( Posted by: Bartleby [Member] On: January 22, 2004 )

Okay
I won't dispute your comments this time, this'll probably be heading for a rewrite in the near future.
Thanks for your critiques, constructive as always.
Ciao
Paul the Ogg

( Posted by: Ogg [Member] On: January 24, 2004 )

Cool subject
I'm not one to judge but all in all I thought this was a very brilliant and thought provoking piece of work.

( Posted by: Glass hair of a virgin bride [Member] On: March 17, 2004 )





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