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I remember it as if it was only yesterday. Come to think of it, it was actually earlier this morning. Hm...I must be losing my memory a bit. That's besides the point though. The point is that I remember. Wait, no, that's not the point. The point is - well, I can't tell you what the point is right now, or it would sort of make the rest of the story meaningless. But, luckily for you, I havn't yet told you the point (although earlier I thought I had), so the story is still meaningful. Although, it's really not that meaningful of a story, but it's ceartinly not meaningless, so meaningful is the word I will use, for lack of better options. Setting all this aside, I'm sure you are quite anxious to hear my story. As I was saying, I remember it as if it was only yesterday...

It really is too bad that this is a book and not a movie. If it was a movie, then after the last line of the previous paragraph, there could have been a fade to black, and then a scene change to earlier this morning. Unfortunally, it isn't a movie, it's a book, so there is really nothing appropriate that can go in this paragraph to make the last sentance of the previous paragraph work. Well, there are some things that could go in this paragraph, but none that I really want to put here. Then again, this paragraph seemed to work out rather nicely if you ask me. Now, on to the next paragraph.

In this paragraph, I will start the actual story, so get ready, and brace yourself. It all started - wait...on second thought, I think I'll start the story in the next paragraph, but be forwarned, there will be no sentance in the next paragraph to declare that the story is starting, and there for you will have to deduce it on your own. Well, I did just tell you that the story would be starting next paragraph, so you don't really have to deduce it on your own, unless of course you have extremely bad short term memory loss, in which case it's a wonder that you waste your time reading things even though you are going to forget them. Then again, maybe you forgot you had memory loss, and therefore didn't know that you would be forgetting anything you read. Of course, this story doesn't have much of a plot anyways, so even if you do have short term memory loss, you can still enjoy it.

It all started earlier this morning. I had been programming my computer, and had stayed up all night. Beside me were dozens of empty cases of caffienne pills. To be honest, I was quite a bit mad. You see, I had been up all night programming, and yet it seemed I had really accomplished nothing useful. Then I remembered, Bill Gates had been programming for the majority of his life and had never accomplished anything useful. That made me fill a bit better, until I remembered that I too had spent the majority of my life programming, and I too had never accomplished anything useful. To add to it, Bill Gates was filthy rich, where as I was...well...I was filthy rich, but I had won it in the lotto, and Bill Gates had earned it selling crappy computer programs. And he was richer. At this point, I had forgotten what I was thinking about in the first place, and so I decided to stop thinking.

This unfortunally caused one hell of a probelm. You see, when I decided to stop thinking, I didn't mean stop thinking altogether, I just meant stop thinking about that particular thing I was thinking about. Unfortunally, my brain didn't interpret what I thought the same way, and it decided to simply stop all thinking that was going on in my brain. I sat staring into space for several minutes, until eventually, a spark flew in my ear, and electricuted me, and started my brain back up and thinking again.

Of course, the first thing I thought was "where did that spark come from?" I investigated for a couple seconds and found the origin, which happened to be an elephant down the street. The whole process of events that lead to the actually lead to the spark is quite long, and could probably be an entire story by themselves, and therefore I won't bother going into it. The thing that you do have to know though, was during the minutes when I wasn't thinking, two aliens flew in through the window, and they were now standing behind me, extending what appeared to be a slide rule.

I bet your expecting these aliens to somehow help the story progress, arn't you? Well, they don't. In fact, this story doesn't progress at all. Not just at this point, but throughout this whole story, there will be absoulutly no progression. Well, unless I change my mind later in the story, then there might be some progression, but don't count on it.

Also anyone who has read any stories I have told before, probably know by now that I put aliens in all my stories, and they never really matter. Anyways, now that I've explained aliens and story progression far too much, I will continue on with the story. Be careful, because this next part has dialog. It can often be confusing who is talking in a story, so for your convinence, I have taken the liberty of adding in parenthesis, who says what. This may sound confusing now but you will see what I mean on this next line.

"Would you teach us how to use this?" (that was the aliens talking)

"No". (and that was me)

I hope my little notes in parenthesis helped you to comprehend that lengthy conversation, if you are still having trouble understanding it, just keep reading the story, because the previous two lines don't really matter anyways.

With that they flew back out of my room, and I never heard from them again. Sometimes I wonder, what would have happened if I had taken the pill. Then, I remember they didn't offer me a pill. Then I wonder what color the pill would have been had they offered one to me. After wondering at several different times, I decided it would be orange. That was the last I ever wondered about the aliens.

This seems like a good point in the story to explain something. Although through this story, I refer to the story as if it was real, it's not real. Yup, that's right. Sorry to ruin it for you, but this story is completly made up. Actually, 'made up' is the wrong tense. It's actually being made up. Yeah, in case you hadn't already figured it out, I'm making this up as I go along.

Ok, although this is right after the paragraph right before this one, I'm actually typing this paragraph a day later. Now, you'll probably notice that my writing style has changed a bit. You probably think that it is a bit worse now, eh? Or maybe you can't tell a difference? Well, it should be different, because of caffiene and vitanim changes in my body. See, yesterday, I was operating on about 2 liters of soda, and one bottle of sobe. Today, I've only had 1 liter of soda and 1 bottle of sobe. That's only half as much caffeiene. Because of this lack of caffiene, my writing style is very different, and in my opinion much worse.

Since I think it is much worse, I really don't see the point in going on writing this story. (By the way, the reason I started a new paragraph is the other one was just way to unfashionably long.) Since I don't see a point in going on writing this story, I think I will stop. That's right, the end.


The following comments are for "untitled cause it's better that way"
by Twisted Mystik

Which way he go?
I don't know what to say about that?
Is it good? (That's me talking.)
It made me chuckle a few times. (That's me answering.)
Does talking to myself make me CrAZy! (Me again)
YES! (Me once more.)

anyway back to the review...where was

I think so in a very strange way. Reading it was kinda like chasing your tail. It keeps avoiding you, but you are constantly smelling your own ass. And I really think that was what you were going for. You wanted us to smell your ass and you succeeded. Job well done.

I think I need some sleep. No that can't be right, I just woke up? Maybe I'm still sleeping and this story was a dream...yeah that's it.

( Posted by: Richard Dani [Member] On: November 26, 2001 )

Note to twisted
Last night I was thinking about the above review, and I thought it could be taken in a way different from the one I intended. I actually thought your story was creative, and funny. But, I think it hypnotized me with that back and forth way that its written. Infact, I kept talking that way all darn morning.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I really liked this just in case I wasn't clear the first time.


( Posted by: Richard Dani [Member] On: November 27, 2001 )

wierd and funny
Very very odd. But strangely compelling. No story; no plot; events that have no bearing on anything, but lots of caffine... yikes. I wish caffine had that effect on me!

( Posted by: Spudley [Member] On: December 29, 2002 )

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