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Shuffling softly now
Rocking back and forth as one
A vale of tall yellow grass


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Comments

The following comments are for "Meadow"
by Washer

Syllables
Yeah, I know Pen. 5-7-5 just couldn't contain my talents, I needed more syllables! Actually, I just wanted to try out an alternative, albeit disallowed, method. Believe it or not, this took me a half-hour, and I still don't like it. I was going for sibilance, cacophony, sibilance. Didn't.

( Posted by: Washer [Member] On: January 2, 2004 )

Meadow
Washer; very nice haiku you have here.

Blessings

{{{Jeannie}}}

( Posted by: JEANNIE45 [Member] On: January 3, 2004 )

washer...

hey, really lovely. truly.

"as one" was the only bit that threw me. what did you mean?

( Posted by: ark [Member] On: February 22, 2004 )

Happy to Oblige ark
ark, firstly, I would like to thank you for reading *MEADOW*, one of the most read poems on lit.org which will surely go on to remembered by the masses. Heh.

I admit the image I used was not perfect, but when I said "as one" I referred to the motion of grass in the wind. Though each stalk moves individually, when they all move together, it produces an effect which makes them all seem intrinsically connected.

( Posted by: Washer [Member] On: February 22, 2004 )

smirk-smark

thanks for the clarification, washer. sure, yeah: i've seen grass do that.

i'll just blithely pass by your half-concealed reference, okay? ;)

~ark

( Posted by: ark [Member] On: February 22, 2004 )





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