Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
0.00

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

I was a regular contributor here. After a long hiatus due to school and personal trials, I'm here to bring you my next superhero, the Elem! Enjoy and feel free to post comments.



I guess the trouble started at the lock in. That’s as far back as I can trace to getting these powers.


The school’s PAC lobby was large and white. The walls were sheer and made of white painted brick. It had a high ceiling, and there was always an echo, even when there was no sound. There were two small rooms in the corner without doors, all but obscuring someone inside.


It was about 3:00 a.m., at the band lock in. We had been there since 8:30 that evening, and it was getting horribly boring. I was fighting sleep with a game of poker, betting cans of soda full of in-demand caffeine. Even that was losing its luster as recreation. So I promptly fell asleep after folding and finding a corner to curl up in.


And with sleep comes dreams. I always have wonderful dreams of being a mage, summoning thunderbolts and fireballs and ice lances and splitting the earth in two. It has been a fervent wish of mine to have that happen to me.


Well, it doesn’t happen yet, but you never think of the implications of your wishes until they come true.


“Hey Jeff, do you wanna go out with Shelly?” I’m rudely lifted from my reveries by my ex girlfriend, Nina, with such force that I nearly hit her in the face with a white knuckled fist.


She takes her hands off my shoulders and looks at me with disgust. “God, Jeff, why are you such an idiot?”


“Well, when someone shakes you like a rag doll and asks if you’ll start dating someone, you tend to be a bit startled. Understand? It’s all very simple.” I run my hand through my disheveled hair and get up and walk to the bathroom, all the while Nina tracking me.


“C’mon, don’t you have an answer?” I look at Shelly. She’s not exactly thin, taller than me, and on the not exactly thin part, probably weighs 50 pounds more than I do. I’m 130 pounds.


But she has the most beautiful body of anyone I know her size. Her butt’s huge, has a sizeable rack, and a pretty face. She comes close to my idea of the perfect woman.


So I stand there, outside of the restroom, thinking of an answer. Too embarrassed to say yes, I begin to turn red and stumble over words. “Well…I ah, don’t…know whether…it would feel right…”


“But you two would make such a cute couple!” Nina declares with an unprecedented level of enthusiasm for this time of night. She must have not taken her medication.


I walk off in a hurry into the sanctum of porcelain and sit on the john, thinking out loud. “What? Is this some kind of cosmic joke? Am I supposed to say yes to a girl I actually like?” The thought of going out with Shelly had always been ambient in this tumultuous chaos I call my mind. But I had never actively pursued it. That’s because I was trying to get Nina back into my arms. See, I thought that I loved her and that she still loved me, although you couldn’t really tell right now—this is the first time since she had talked to me since we broke up. A sentence or two was definitely a start.


Given my emotional position, I nixed going out with Shelly to try and get Nina back.


As I walked to the door, I hear Terry and Nina by the door. Terry is a regular gossip monger, and Nina is sometimes dumb enough to forget that I’m around. Hell, most people do that just because I always get the feeling that no one cares if I’m around. That’s because I’m a horrendous shithead sometimes, and being that bad tends to turn people off to you.


So anyways, I hear the two girls talking. “…used Jeff to get back at Jack? Nina, you’re so evil.” Terry walked off, heels (why did she wear those?) clicking off as she took a step.


“Well if that’s how you want to think about it, then I did.”


My brow furrowed and my mind turned to a red bowl of white hot magma. Use me? I’ve been taken advantage of too many times to count, and it hurts every time, but this is unforgivable and inexcusable.


Vengeance will be given, and given coldly


------
I think sigs are dumb.


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "The Elem, Prologue"
by Sub

No Offense
Sorry to say, Sub, but this didn't grab me. A few points that turned me off (this is more subjective than objective analysis, and many may enjoy it):
The description of the girl.
"Her butt’s huge, has a sizeable rack, and a pretty face."
That could have been written better. A lot better.

"Vengeance will be given, and given coldly."
This would be an OK quote, but not considering the situation. Who would react so strongly to a school mixup like that, or at least give voice to their aggravation in such an odd choice of words?

I don't know what a lockin is, but I guess it's pretty literal. Perhaps you should explain why it's occurring though.

Just my opinion. Use it or not.

( Posted by: Washer [Member] On: December 24, 2003 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: