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10nae411

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Look to the one who serves the soul,
look to the self and truth,
look to yourself and to your path,

some allways misuse,

see truth in all you do, my friends.
see good in others eyes,
and see that in the midst of it,

some will always lie,

And paths are meant for everyone,
for souls great and small,
And endings are not ever true,

all things will join with all.

So walk the way you see as right,
and do what you must and feel,
for in the end when all is done,

paths untread, are worse than those
that for a while may end a bit, or follow others heels.



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Comments

The following comments are for "As I see it."
by wally 5

Good stuff
Good rhythm, good message, well-worded. I quite enjoyed this one, Wally5. I don't know about the end, though -- that last stanza seems out of place. Maybe if it was structured more like the first two? Ah, but you might have been trying to avoid that on purpose . . .

( Posted by: Boy Howdy [Member] On: December 4, 2003 )

my path
Wow! I didn't expect this poem to be as good as it was when I started reading it, but to be honest you really caught me. I suppose I could say you could work on imagery and such to draw the reader deeper into the poem. However, I like it just how it is. =D (note: You spelled always wrong.)

( Posted by: Darkshine Raven [Member] On: December 4, 2003 )

thanks
I was at work when i wrote this one, I start at 2 Am, so i was really tired, but i think it worked out good, I always spell allways wrong....oh well...

( Posted by: wally 5 [Member] On: December 4, 2003 )

you see it well...
Loved your perspective on this. Great message, good write!!!

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: May 14, 2004 )





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