Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(2 votes)

RatingRated by

You must login to vote

Butterflies are ugly things
And your lips curves so distractingly
Who are you and what do you want
In this prodigious insanity
Mixed of breath’s breathlessness?

Would you be offended
If I say no dream butterfly is this love
Nor you such brilliant wings
Instead- compare you to coal
(since jewels flash me blind)
Happy in my earthy embrace.

The conscious shape reality.

Related Items


The following comments are for "The Consummation of Our Cliche"
by Furius

i read this a bit differently from bob.. in the sense that love sees past the surface..? because despite the fact that she may not possess "brilliant wings".. she still proves distracting.. despite the earthly atmosphere.. love stil exists.. and love is the greatest cliche of all..? maybe i'm over interpreting here (again)

the first stanza was a little bit confusing.. each line alone is excellent..
like "your lips curve so distractingly" (i'm assuming you meant curve not curves..)
.. but put together.. i got a bit lost.

my favourite part had to be "insanity/ Mixed of breath’s breathlessness".. beautiful

( Posted by: pixie [Member] On: November 29, 2003 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.