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You walked into the coolness
Spring morn all clear and fresh
You walked into the Ocean
Into harsh, pre-mature death

Your body never found and laid
To ground, and marked your name
Your body never mourned
By your loved ones, at your grave

Your dying words were never heard
Your pleas were drowned by waves
Your memory all that would remain
Through all your would-be days

You walked into the coolness
Spring morn all clear and fresh
You walked into the Ocean
To the mercy of her depths

And though I love the waters
I still curse her intense ways
For you walked into the Ocean
And she took our youth/(love) away

The answer to EVERYTHING!!!:- The Cycle.
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The following comments are for "To The Young Who Drown At Sea"
by A. Cain

brutal planet
This was an interesting piece, but I definitely think you could have spiced it up a bit more. The rhyme scheme was a bit off and it seemed a bit over simplified. I enjoyed the final few lines, although the last one seems to slow it all down because it's longer than the lines before. All in all, a good poem about something very sad...

( Posted by: Darkshine Raven [Member] On: November 18, 2003 )

nothing to say
I don't quite know what it is i want to say....... it was good...but i think the rythm faded in areas and that tends to make it hard for the rythming to work well....otherwise i say it .....i like it...

( Posted by: snuffystuff [Member] On: November 19, 2003 )

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