Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
6

(1 votes)


RatingRated by
6Unknown

You must login to vote

I see the war in your eyes...

Little child I see the war in your eyes
Ghastly images you want to forget
but cannot
Your family murdered
and a gun placed in your hands
for a war that you do not understand


Little child I see innocence lost
Your eyes now empty tombstones
Your face a mask
You've seen death more than once
Bloated bodies surrounded by flies
You pulled the trigger and screamed
Each time you died inside


Little child I see the war in your eyes
And I weep for the child you were
The child you could have been

-------------------

This poem is best viewed with the graphics. For those who want to see it with graphics intact, see: http://groups.msn.com/LastingImpressions/chantiscreations.msnw?action=view_list&sortstring=



------
Open wide the eyes of the mind.
Chanti


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "Untitled"
by Chanti

rankled
Dear Penelope,
Thank you for taking the time to comment about my poem 'I see the war in your eyes'. The poem is titled but I seem to have slipped up and not placed the title where it should be. I am new to the site and so forgive me for this oversight.

If you did check the post with the graphics, you would see the title very clearly.

I posted the poem on another site and received rave reviews. All of the respondents believed that the graphic greatly enhanced the mood of the poem and all said it was perfectly chosen and so I am a little confused about your one comment.

I love constructive critique and only want to improve my writing skills and so all or any help in this is appreciated.
The title of your response 'rankled' had that effect on me. Frankly, it hurt rather than achieving anything of value.

Creatively yours
...

( Posted by: Chanti [Member] On: November 10, 2003 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: