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Last night was very confusing. Oh yes, very confusing. There is a lot of edges to this dangerous sword we cradle so gentally. It cuts us no matter how we hold it. Arg. I feel like shit. I don't want to go out tonight but yet again the pressure is on. I want to stay here in hopes of having contact with one of my true friends. It's a crutch really. I hate that about myself. I love my friends, but in new situations I tend to get intimidated and backslide to those who I like to be emotionally dependant on. I tried hard to break out of that pattern but it doesn't seem to be working. I guess Zach put it accurately when he scolded me for trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. *sigh*

He said, "You make me not want to try with anybody else". What do those words really mean? Do they mean what my poems mean...I sure hope so.

*laughs* Gosh, sometimes I love my own complexity.

"God grant me distraction."

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by Darkshine Raven

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