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=3. Separation=

Warm. Dark.

He opened his eyes and noticed the dim yellow light. He was back in the clothes he had worn earlier. He was now wrapped in a large fuzzy blanket. Bedroom.

"I made you some tomato soup, your favorite." Someone was standing in the doorway. Jon.

"I'm not hungry."

Jon nodded and went back to the kitchen. Tracy didn't really need Jon. He just got in the way all the time. He never did anything for Tracy. He just poked on the computer and made him food to show that he was alive.

Tracy waited for Jon to come back. He heard various sounds, very quiet. He wondered if he would come back and apologize for being such a jerk all the time. There weren't any footsteps. There was only silence. "Jon!!"

"What?" He sounded slightly irate.

"I need to talk to you."

Jon grumbled and walked to the bedroom. He stood in the doorway. "Yes?"

Tracy threw the blanket up, stood in front of Jon, and slapped him on the cheek. "Bastard."

Jon touched his reddened cheek lightly. "Another one of your little temper tantrums. Call me when it's over." He walked away.

Tracy blew up at this. "How dare you!! Don't walk away!"

He turned around. "Fine."

"Why do you have to be this way? You frustrate me so much. You're never any help, you just... you just act insensitive all the time! I hate it!"

A fuse inside Jon lit itself. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just trying to be patient, because ever since you've gotten home you've bugged the crap out of me! I don't even know why you came back!"

"I thought I was tired of switching men. I thought I wanted to settle down. But maybe that's not what I want either!"

"Quit acting so pissy because you can't get laid every night."

"You asshole!" Tracy shoved Jon into the wall, clamping his shoulders.

"So it is true."

"More to it than that! You don't want to do what I want to do!"

"You're so selfish, always thinking about yourself. You leave me to go get butt fucked by male whores, get tired of it, and then you want to come back to me just so you can beat me up?"

Tracy loosened his grip.

"When you left, I thought it would blow over. A week passed. My mind started wandering all the time. Another week passed. I lost my appetite. Another week passed. I slept all day. Then I stopped eating all together, I didn't go outside the apartment, I stayed in bed most of the day, and my boss almost fired me. The job I've been working at for seven years... gone because of a little shit like you! I almost died! But I was a little worried when you showed up... I wanted you to be healthy... that's why I made you take the damn test. I didn't think it would be positive. I was ready to be with you, for the rest of our lives. I want to settle down. I want to have a large house and children. I was so happy when we were here in this little apartment that I thought we would be happy having a family..." Jon's voice trailed off. It took every ounce of his strength not to cry in front of Tracy.

Tracy felt sick. "I'm sorry. I want freedom. I've never really been free to do whatever I want... I guess I'm still just a kid. I mean, I didn't get out of college very long ago."

"Go be free. If it makes you happy."

"What about you?"

Jon shrugged. "What about me?"

"You'll be okay, won't you? You won't die or anything?"

"Of course I will. But you want freedom. With that comes responsibility. Just remember two things: You are responsible for yourself and for others, and once you walk out of that door, I hope I never see you again."

Tracy nodded. He fetched his soda can and walked out.

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The following comments are for "Ambivalent Hourglass pt 3"
by Miku

Can I say that I think Tracy's just a big baby? That's probably horrible to say, since he's sick, but his attitude bugs me. That's good, though-- you want reaction.

The only thing I saw that needs fixing is that you switch between present and past tense in the paragraph where Jon's telling Tracy what happened to him after he left. The part of the paragraph before the sentence, "I want to settle down".

( Posted by: Elphaba [Member] On: October 14, 2003 )

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