Entries from Monastic Vice Episode I (Rated R and then some)
by Enforced Bliss (Member) - published: October 7, 2003
Word Count: 348 Word Bytes: 2109 Viewed: 1164 times
Category - Horror
© Copyright by Enforced Bliss

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NB This was an experimental style and theme of writing that I engaged tried out about a year ago. It is safe to say that this is NOT for everyone. All opinions - positive or pointed - are welcome. I will be posting episodes on a serial basis.

Staked to a cracked and splintered plank an angel whimpers to the burred, rusted spikes. One by one feathers are wrenched from flaccid wings. Celestial terror flashes in it's eyes between the shards of pain when the white hot steel cauterizes each wound. Pan Angelicus bursts in broken sobs from it's mouth during the intervals between tearing and searing.

The Poet screams Byron through canyoned bleeding lips to distract from the familiar agony of his evisceration by a bloodstained Dove. He imagines a smile on her chipped and blunted beak as she dives into his tattered belly for another slithy morsel.

Holding the blowtorch in his left hand he applies the flame to his right bicep. He closes his eyes and smiles listening to his skin sizzle and pop. Inhaling sharply he breathes the smoke from his crackling flesh. Chuckling he envisions the weeping wound and coming scar.

I am Monastic Vice

I inspect my Roman experiment locked in his gibbet suspended from the ceiling. Rounded stumps mark the places formerely occupied by hands and feet. Dried leather bands wrapped tightly above his knees and elbows have already turned the meat below them black. Soon these too will fall away to putryify on the floor of his cage next to the fragments of his other apostate parts.

A beautiful young jewess floats scalded and naked in a vast tank of water. So gradually has the water been heated that she would not know of her glacial boiling were it not for the angry red chunks of sloughed skin that bob along the surface with her.

I carve the word love into her breast overtop the scars of earlier seductions. Barbs on the knife's edge tear and rip the skin as the blade exacts it's tribute.

I am Monastic Vice

------
But would I be a good Messiah with my low self-esteem? / If I don't believe in myself would that be blasphemy? - The Bloodhound Gang Hell Yeah

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Comments

The following comments are for "Entries from Monastic Vice Episode I (Rated R and then some)"
by Enforced Bliss

ouch!
Damn Bliss, between you and Elphaba I think I may just lose my lunch one of these times. Very, very interesting though. You've got my attention. What's with the italics though? Kinda distracting.

( Posted by: Darkshine Raven [Member] On: October 7, 2003 )

A puzzle
Interesting for several reasons. Your description of the horrific is effective and strong. You paint with your words, and best of all, engage other sense as well. I winced at least twice.

I wonder, though, about the point of it. If it's merely an exercise in writing horror, I can accept it as is. But if it's meant to be something more, I'm not sure what, so I don't know how to recieve it.

But it grabbed and held my attention, and that's what matters most.

( Posted by: Boy Howdy [Member] On: October 8, 2003 )

Intro?
This is the setup for a serial, right? Certainly was vivid; forces you to enter the world whether you want to or not. ;) Very good original concept, EB. I found my throat clenching up several times.

Darkshine, I'm sending a barf bag your way. ;)

( Posted by: Elphaba [Member] On: October 8, 2003 )

Wha?
Jewess?? Heheheh. Brutal, I say. Please update soon! I hope it gets gorier =D

( Posted by: gaschamberblues [Member] On: October 8, 2003 )

Vivid
Very nice delivery. It catches and holds one's attention and builds tension nicely. I liked the present tense on a piece this size.

Safiyah

( Posted by: Safiyah [Member] On: October 8, 2003 )

Comments
Darkshine - Try and keep your lunch down - it never tastes as good the second time ;) As to the italics, it was a boo-boo and won't be happening again.

Boy Howdy - Thank you for the flattery (particularly the wincing). It is best accepted as an exercise in writing as such - hate to be cryptic but some things are just a bit complicated to explain.

Elphaba - This is actually an excerpt from later on in the "series" as it were. I will be posting the sum total serially over time. Best to view it not as a serial but rather as seperate brief episodes.

GasChamberBlues - Possibly the coolest name going (excepting mine of course). Thanks for the chuckle and request. It does get gorier - so much so that I suspect a few might not be accepted here; though Chris and Co have been AMAZINGLY tolerant thus far.

Safiyah - Thank you, I'm glad you liked it.

Pen - My apostate angel turns up her nose at yet another of my offerings - this is becoming a habit. I knew that there would be some who wouldn't like it and I can understand that. Your ambivalence is noted.
Loved the Haiban by the way ;)

( Posted by: Enforced Bliss [Member] On: October 8, 2003 )

Power to thee
\m/ Waiting for the gore. Glad you liked my ID. It's actually the ID of my online journal which I am using here too. I'm a geeeeeeek.

( Posted by: gaschamberblues [Member] On: October 8, 2003 )

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