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A Beastie Song
by Rage2Fury (Member) - published: October 7, 2003
Word Count: 112 Word Bytes: 948 Viewed: 542 times
Category - Poetry
© Copyright by Rage2Fury





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8.33

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Ickle beasties
scour my world
their hatred fills my soul.

Accepting hatred
feels so good
through me happiness flows.

Take their gifts
lustful gratitude
a deadly beastie attitude.

Find the peace
hold it tight
fly with beasties now so crude.

Bounce and pounce
pour forth onto me
rip with them; step into their groove.

Run and swim
fly now again
tear a new whole; step out to move.

Little beasties
rule my world
their love fills my head.

Accepting love
feel so sick
might as well be dead.

Beaties, beasties
bounce and pounce
pour forth onto me
ounce by ounce.

Beasties, beasties
all sing along
fly with them
a beastie song.


------
~Steven-Denmark~
____________________________________
"Remember Forever And Never Forget"


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Comments

The following comments are for "A Beastie Song"
by Rage2Fury

Beasties indeed
I just started reading the poems in this "beasties series" recently, on the advice of another. They're a fun read, and this one is no exception. My one complaint, however, is that the rhythm seems choppy at times.

The last stanza is delightful.

Word.

( Posted by: Boy Howdy [Member] On: October 8, 2003 )

choppiness and other things
A group of stanzas did not feel quite right. The wording seemed, perhaps lackluster. The poem has that, rapid punch type of feel to it, which is great. But in some places, it wasn't enough.

Score, about 6/10. 6 or 7. Not sure. If there are more, I'll go read them.

( Posted by: hfox9er [Member] On: October 8, 2003 )

Pump it up
Yes, the last STANZA was dazzling. I really did like the flow. You somehow idled away to nowhere at times though.

( Posted by: gaschamberblues [Member] On: October 8, 2003 )

bemused and amused
The beastie king looks upon this poem with bemusement, sighs as one who has the weight of the world upon his shoulders, and with a faint hint of a smile; sings your beastie song. Welcome to the beastie club. Good job.


warmest regards,
bob

( Posted by: rcallaci [Moderator] On: October 8, 2003 )

beasties...
Thank-you Bob.

As for everyone else, I understand how you feel. It does seem a little off, but Beasties are what they are.

I am so happy. I'm down with the Beasties and the Beastie clube with Bob!

( Posted by: Rage2Fury [Member] On: October 8, 2003 )





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