Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
8

(2 votes)


RatingRated by
7Unknown
9Unknown

You must login to vote

Forced Words
October 3rd, 2003

i present to you my will to be anything else other than you
to be something that is not unlike forever by
wanting to have the one thing that can be solved
by adding everything together and looking at it as a whole
lot of things that are driving you up against the wall
of mixed emotions and feelings that you can't keep
bottled up, shaken and thrown into the icy water
that drains into the pond where you left this broken
heart that still beats to this day for just one last kiss
upon my crooked lips that swell up with the sting
caused by your venom that you injected with your tounge
running down my chin so i can watch you unravel yourself
down to your skin so soft and complete...

------
http://www.eyescovered.com
...i close my eyes in order to see...


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "Forced Words"
by eyescovered

Great!
Aha...You know Alice like I know her.

She can be so sweat sometimes, venom and all.

( Posted by: Vember Judgement [Member] On: November 14, 2003 )

Forced Words
EyesCovered;
Nice poem you have here. Thank God I don't have any Venom in me.

Blessings

{{{Jeannie}}}

( Posted by: JEANNIE45 [Member] On: November 14, 2003 )

venom
Loved the lines about venom,running down, and so forth. Nifty! A good, effective poem, with some inspired wordplay.

Good work!

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: November 14, 2003 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: