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DEATH HAIKU




All these things that die.


If you think that bothers you
just wait until death gets sincere.


Your eyeball against
all the gone eyeballs.


Or the turtle in the road
you ran over
just yesterday
on an Ohio road.


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The following comments are for "DEATH HAIKU"
by gomarsoap

Not quite
I didn't like this very much, and I was going to give it a 1/10. Then I read that last bit about the turtle and loved it. I should have given it a 5 or 6 just for that.

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: October 3, 2003 )

What is this about?
Dear oh dear! What is this? 'Your eyeball against all the gone eyeballs' ? What is THAT about? This poem makes no sense. I don't know what 'Haiku' means, so maybe that's why. Still wouldn't give it 1/10.

( Posted by: Storyteller [Member] On: November 12, 2003 )

Hey, Storyteller
Hey, c'mon, daddy-o! It deserves at least a 1.

This poem is about how people get upset about death. You know: you come across a dead animal in the road and it bothers you. Or a loved one has a brain aneurism and drops over dead in a kitchen at the age of 52. Or you contemplate your own eventual death, and that bothers you, too.

The "gone eyeball" lines have to do with measuring the importance of your life right now, compared to all those who have gone before you. Did you know that there are about 4 billion people alive just in China alone? And in about 70 years they will practically all be dead? Do you know how much just one billion is, let alone 4 billion? And that's just China. How many billions of people are in the world right now? And they'll mostly all be dead in 70 years. Multiply that by history and you come up with a staggering amount of people. Billions & billions. All "gone."

What makes your life so unique and important when you compare your eyes to all the eyes that have come and gone before you. Does your life have more import than theirs? All those anonymous people?

This is what I was contemplating when I wrote this poem.

And I had just accidentally run over a box turtle while driving on a winding country road along the Ohio River. It was October and what I thought was a couple of autumn leaves in the road ahead was a turtle and recognized it too late. Whap! Hit it square with my tire and saw it bouncing down the road in my rear-view mirror. It was a small horror. That there turtle's eyes is now "gone" with all the rest of the "gone eyeballs" of all things that have lived in this world.

And that's what this poem is about.

And I demand at least a 1 from your sorry ass.






( Posted by: gomarsoap [Member] On: November 13, 2003 )

Death Haiku
I have to admit, I enjoyed reading your very persuasive comment to storyteller more than the haiku. You definately have a way with words!

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: May 11, 2004 )





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