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*Author's note: Think deep...

I am God.

Steve Parkinson blinked at the pillars of burning carcasses, and the crumbling buildings that whispered apocalypse to the only two ears on Earth. Post-maimed, and past lively faces, now ashen with agony, stared into a sky that rained blood. Amidst the anarchy Steve Parkinson bent down and picked up a cracked mirror clear of debris, somewhat covered in dirt. I am God, he said to a reflection free of dirt and lacerations, dark humor looming over a voice drenched in satirical molasses. And there was no one left that could tell him any different.

------
Things that are done can be undone.



Comments

The following comments are for "I am God"
by hfox9er

think deep?
How deep do you mean? I totally liked this piece of flash. Very intense, well-written words. Smart and sassy in a way. Bravo! =D

( Posted by: Darkshine Raven [Member] On: September 30, 2003 )

Heh
This works. Surprisingly good for such a short piece. What a profound thing to think in such devastating circumstances.

( Posted by: Elphaba [Member] On: September 30, 2003 )

Delusional Steve
Nice writing. Packed a lot of good stuff into this piece of fiction. "...that whispered acopalypse..." is a brilliant phrase. However, the word, "post-maimed" eluded me. It's an interesting word invention, but I don't find it effective in an otherwise powerful piece. Omit, "somewhat covered in dirt." That word seems to distract from the lyrical flow of your writing. Don't even have to mention the dirty mirror. We can picture it among all that destructive chaos. Also, no need to say, "to a reflection free of dirt and lacerations." All you have to write is that he speaks to the reflection. Saves more words. Consider this: "I am God, he said to the reflection." That's much stronger. Finally, "satirical molasses" is another pairing of words that doesn't work for me. Where can I buy a bottle of satirical mollases? I know what you want to say, but these two words don't work. With your superior writing talent, perhaps you will consider using other words that are as powerful, and more meaningful. Nice job. Hoping to see more of your writing.

( Posted by: fastwriter [Member] On: November 17, 2003 )





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