Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
1

(1 votes)


RatingRated by
1Unknown

You must login to vote

This reluctent weakening
From the depth of your eyes,
- You can see right through me,
& the cloak of my disguise.
Time; it is dripping,
Draining down the hall.
No use in waiting for the future
As it is melting off the wall.
There is no anger anymore,
No unabated hate.
I've spent my life in my own hell
& I must accept my fate.
Are you my redemption?
The one for whom I breathe?
I've wasted years, I've melted time,
Are you the one I need?

------
V.


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "Gentle Torture"
by Edens_wench

Gentle Torture
Nice tight poem with really good images. This is a really good example of a rhyming poem that has substance & real poetry. Real nice!

( Posted by: gomarsoap [Member] On: September 28, 2003 )

nice
like the person said before, its true, you have the poem ride with out any bumps, i read it without stopping (i love it when i can do that). the title i think fits great with this poem. loved the words-sent visions...

( Posted by: soulblade [Member] On: September 28, 2003 )

re:
Thank you very much for your optimistic input on this poem, which is a personal favorite of mine. As i've said before, both good and bad input are more than welcome, as i'm looking for a publisher.... So believe me when i say, every response i get, i take to heart the next time i sit down to write.

( Posted by: Edens_wench [Member] On: September 29, 2003 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: