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The teacher asked me why I never talk in class.
"So bright a student, yet you never try,
you, my child, have nothing to hide. Speak up!"

Yet I looked her in the eye and shook my sorry head.
"I feel that I have less to offer,
than others have to teach. Therefore I am silent."

She seemed fully disappointed and so I was moved to share.
I explained the way I felt.
"Others ask hundreds of questions, and never listen.
They only feed their personal desires.
Closed ears, however, won't let in any lessons,
whether solicited or not."

Watching me for a moment, she pondered what I said.
"You are brighter than I thought," said she.

And I listened, hoping I could learn from her ability
to let her defenses down.
How much I learned that day!

"God grant me distraction."

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The following comments are for "A Subtle Lesson Learned"
by Darkshine Raven

Is fair play. It's pretty tricky to comment on flash fiction, because there's so little material. But here I go.

I liked the point of this story.

What's with the margins? Was this set up as a piece of poetry, which also works in story form?

Do you like those blueberry turnover things they used to serve you at school lunches?

( Posted by: Washer [Member] On: September 18, 2003 )

poetry gone mad
Yeah Washer it was a poem, but I couldn't make it work so I just left the margins as they were. I liked the way it kinda put more emphasis on what each person said though, so I think it's alright it the end...

And I loved blueberry turnovers back in the day. Great stuff.

Thanks for the feedback. =D

( Posted by: Darkshine Raven [Member] On: September 19, 2003 )

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