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Kiss me until the daylight fades.
I want to pay for this time with my future.
If I don't do it now, I'll never know,
What it is to be lost in passion.
A game I am willing to lose.
The stakes are high,
But i have what it takes,
And even if I should lose,
I'll have what I want
Hhat are the chances you want the same thing?
Should you want the same,
Can I interest you in a game?
What do you have to lose?
If you win what would you like to take home?


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Comments

The following comments are for "Game of love"
by man eating maniac

In two...
...minds about this one M.E.M.

I like it, the subject is tackled with the same 'cards on the table' honesty that I find in alot of your poetry.

At the same time, I found myself tripping over the rhythm. I think that this line:
Hhat are the chances you want the same thing? (minus the typo!)
could be a bit shorter to maintain the punchiness of the rest of the piece.

I really loved the last line. I had this urge to shout 'Cuddly Toy!!' at the screen!!

Well done,
Jazz
-X-

8/10

( Posted by: Jasmine [Member] On: September 13, 2003 )

whoops!!!
i was just testing you guys....
nah, complete whoops on that typo...
Right, the good news is that i did take the risk, and i gambled... i won the best thing that was on the table, i am living proof that the risk is sometimes worth it, it was in my case and i don't look back!

( Posted by: man eating maniac [Member] On: September 14, 2003 )

Risk are what keep you alive.
I liked this. Reading it this late in the day, I'll think about it, well, so much for sleep.

I agree with the above with the What are the chances you want the same thing line.. Fiddle with that, and it's a winner.

And always go for it..

( Posted by: CaptainKeyboard [Member] On: March 12, 2004 )

thanks!
i almost forgot about this poem... no i HAD forgotten but there you go, i was reading the first few lines wondering if it was my work!

how dopey of me.

i might actually get round to re-vamping this piece.

( Posted by: man eating maniac [Member] On: March 13, 2004 )





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