Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

for years i have been in the dark,
for months i have smelled the rotten air of my own flesh,
crawled upon the dirt floor-
and dampened it with my own tears.
but i see a light within the dark clouds.
a warmth that seems to take over my whole being.
it is you.
worn and torn,
Scarred by the harsh hands of time,
i stand up for you.
legs are weak, and hunger is strong-
but for you i'll endure.
will you vanish the hell i have been captured in?
Please, when will love's grace shin on me!
but Alast, you are merely an illusion!
a dream, a hoax!
your eyes are the color of blood, your voice the sound of pain!
long have i dreamed of someone, long have i prayed for the keys.
the key to unlock this hell,
but fait has it, only the love of a women can free me.
till then, im a hallowed man awaiting his judgment,
but who will see me in this darkness?

theres a darkness within my soul, one that never goes away. the person u see is the bitter me, the one i fear...

Related Items


The following comments are for "the inner hell"
by soulblade

very powerful poem, a struggle that many share at one point or another. One minor spelling error "fait" should be "fate" I believe.

Thank you for your comments on My poem recently. I very much appreciate them.

( Posted by: SinamonAngel [Member] On: September 4, 2003 )

Do you know Beaudelaire ?
My god ! You really moved me, you know ! You remind me (especially the style of the beginning) some of the french Beaudelaire's poems I studied and really appreciated when I was young. One of them is "Spleen". Do you know him, and his poems ? Your own is as fascinating as are his, and very vivid !
Very good ! I would like it to be longer !
I have the impression that now I'll have to spend more time in this place, when I don't have so much and I'm going to be obliged to come back here regularly hoping reading more from you ! %@#%!!x%@!#%x,
and re-%@#%!!x%@!#%x ! ! I've been had !

( Posted by: blb_Maryse [Member] On: September 5, 2003 )

The same
Me again !
The worst is that I need a french/english dictionary to write ! So %@#%!!x%@!#%x again !

( Posted by: blb_Maryse [Member] On: September 5, 2003 )

well first off thanks..
well i must say, it pleases me very much to have ppl comment and like it. when i write, i try to only write my feelings, to matyse-thanks for the comment but sadly i havent heard of Beaudelaire-but trust me ill look it up now. thankxs a mill!

( Posted by: soulblade [Member] On: September 5, 2003 )

Very Nice
I love this piece so dark and dismal. I am going to try to write some dark poetry and see how it comes out. You did a superb job. A great read and wonderful flow of darkness.:)

( Posted by: lovesessence [Member] On: September 7, 2003 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.