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what is it that you see?
is it the scars upon my face?
The years of wasted life that cover me, Suffocate me.
the rivers of my own blood that i wallow in-
that remind me of my past?
a time where the darkness took of hold me?
beated me, raped me.
time knows no mercy, nor does it know when to stop.
cant you see through that, see through the
the shadows,
see me?
the past is the past.
no longer am i the man you once knew.
im freed of the chains that once held me!
please help me.
love me like we once loved each other
love me...

theres a darkness within my soul, one that never goes away. the person u see is the bitter me, the one i fear...

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The following comments are for "desperate love"
by soulblade

I like this one you write very well. I look foward to reading more of your poetry in the future. You'll be like a new light on Lit. Unless your an imposter.
lol. Good-Luck here they will beat you to death but they mean no harm. Plus your good so they will go easy on you. Keep Um coming. :)


( Posted by: lovesessence [Member] On: September 1, 2003 )

thank u
that means alot cause, i love to write, but never got any feed back on it. since im "young" (15) i feels good to know ppl can like my poetry for what it is, thanks again!

( Posted by: soulblade [Member] On: September 2, 2003 )

Are you Beaudelaire son ? Don't lie !
Still me ! This one is good too (but I prefer "Inner hell"). You seem obsessed by "scars", aren't you ? I have a problem with my dictionary. It doesn't want to help me Please what do you mean by "im freed of the chains". Do you mean "free" but in some past tense ? I'm sorry still my so bad english ! !
Poor dictionary ! It works hard, but not enough ....

( Posted by: blb_Maryse [Member] On: September 5, 2003 )

true, i tend to use thoughs words alot cause i just think they really describe the poem. ill also say "chains" alot cause they have a certain symbolism to me, just warnin all u ppl, lol.

( Posted by: soulblade [Member] On: September 5, 2003 )

... very insightful and to the depths. Your poem touched Me and captured My empathy.

( Posted by: SinamonAngel [Member] On: September 5, 2003 )

Desperate Love
You have only posted two poems, and I love the both of them. You write so well.
I would love to se more of your work



( Posted by: JEANNIE45 [Member] On: September 8, 2003 )

needs a better title
It's a good one, but I thought the title is too trite and played too safe. get out of the comfort zone and give it a kick. It would have been a better poem with a better title, well just my take.

everything else is good though.

( Posted by: webguy [Member] On: June 14, 2004 )

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