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shattered dreams
glass upon the jagged rocks
glistening shards burst
and dissolve into the night
daylight brings grey
listless screaming void.

crumpled daydreams
paper into the hot flames
licking fragments burn
and dissolve into dust
moonlight brings nothing
but unreachable false hope.

festered nightmares
wounds openning on the flesh
seeping poison weeps
and dissolves into the being
no light bringing endlessness
constant shrieking hell.

ARenee June 29/03



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The following comments are for "Hell"
by SinamonAngel

bravo
Each stanza begins with something similiar to the first line of each stanze before it.

Dreams, daydreams, nightmares. Almost as if you focused on each one, and each stanza was interspersed with commentary on all THREE!

Wow.

hfox.

( Posted by: hfox9er [Member] On: August 27, 2003 )

re:bravo
Thank you so much for the praise *big smile* I tend to try and strive for consistency and continuity when I write, but I dont always achieve that. I once sent a poem into a publisher and the comment that came back was "Abstractly concrete"

never did understand that oxymoron!

( Posted by: SinamonAngel [Member] On: August 27, 2003 )

Ugh, yuk
and icky. Well, hell, Angel - this outgrosses me by a mile, nice n nasty. I just hope my dinner doesn't return by popular demand.
It did.
10/10

( Posted by: ogg [Member] On: August 27, 2003 )

thank you
thank you all for your comments...very very much appreciated.

Ogg...hope your dinner stayed down LOL yikes! thats quite a reaction

rcallaci...as always I look forward to your comments. many thanks!

( Posted by: Sinamonangel [Member] On: August 27, 2003 )

Inspirational
My name is Judi and I don't want no company.
Who are you? misery or miserable?

( Posted by: Judi1 [Member] On: February 14, 2004 )





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