An Interview by Jody Reale of SauchyChicks.com
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1. D.A. Blyler, thank you for spending some time with us. You're a writer, poet, and teacher. What's the best advice about writing you've ever given or received?
Never write from experience.
2. Your satirical articles have been featured in Utne Reader's Best of the Web. Be honest: Do you ever look up your own Utne?
No, only my Aunt Bernadette does.
3. Steffi's Club is set in the brewery town of Pilsen, a beer capital, and has been described as "an absinthe filled romp through the subterranean world of the Czech Republic." Which are you: a beer or an absinthe man?
For the sake of objectivity, I try not to take sides.
4. Of the seven vices of highly creative people, which is your favorite?
Dropping lit cigarettes in other people's drinks.
5. In your G21 article, "Seven Habits of Sensitive, Celibate Men," you mention that you used to place all the young ladies you met on pedestals. Where do you place them now?
On the toilet, then on the bathroom sink, then on my lap.
6. We see you've written an article for Think Magazine entitled "Hire a Husband." Are you for hire?
I am not a husband.
7. Steffi's Club is your debut novel. What did you learn from this "first?"
First I learned to eat with my fingers.
8. Who is the Steffi's Club cover model, and how do we get in touch with her?
My pal Marcus. Go to Maybe Baby, 17 rue Saint Benoit, Paris any night after eleven.
9. Would you join a club that would have you as a member?
No, I've got a member like a club.
10. You live today on a banana plantation in the south of Thailand. First off, are there 400 Starbucks outlets near you? Second, where else have you hung your notebook?
I've counted only 16 within a mile radius of my bungalow....I used to hang my notebook on my girlfriend's nose, but she had cosmetic surgery, so now I hang it on her ear.
11. Do you ever attribute your prosperity as an artist to geography?
Absolutely, and to scenery.
12. How biographical is the Steffi's Club story line?
Every line of the story is fact, corroborated by a Czech sanitation officer.
13. BookSurge.com categorizes Steffi's Club as erotica, among other things. Did you intend to write an erotic thriller, or was it a surprise? Or do you even consider it as such?
Yes, it is an erotic thriller, although I don't consider it as such. And yes, it is a surprise, because I intended to write a manual on male sexual hygiene.
14. Does the book make a statement about equality between men and women, or about how brothel dynamics tip the scales one way or another?
No, it makes a statement on how dynamic tip activity can be very stimulating for fat women.
15. Name your all-time favorite movie or stage character and give us a quote from the production in which he/she appeared?
Edward Harlan, "Union City". Harlan quote: I think I must be constipated.
16. What is it about expat life that works for you? What doesn't?
Not living in the same town with people who think they know me....Having to lie about where I came from.
17. Now for the tough one: Two international flight attendants, Jane and Jackie, both leave for the airport (in separate cars) at 4:00 pm. Jackie takes a taxi, while Jane drives her Camaro with license plates that say "Bon Jovi." At what time will a passenger hate them for being American?
When they say something.
18. At the risk of sounding like an ESPN reporter, "What's next for D.A. Blyler?"
19. Quickly, what are the four food groups?
Bananarama, Electric Prunes, Captain Beefheart, and Strawberry Alarm Clock. I could name more.
D.A. Blyler is the author of the recently published novel Steffi's Club, described by Literary Kicks as a book that "mainlines the cerebellum and haunts the senses like opium."