Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
9.2

(5 votes)


RatingRated by
10Unknown
10Unknown
10Unknown
7Unknown
9Unknown

You must login to vote

Her heart is empty,
Her arms are cold,
She longs to reach out for someone to hold.
But he has left her,
To never return,
And down her cheeks, her tears do burn.


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "empty"
by man eating maniac

Love It!
I do believe this poem could go down in history as one of the greats. Reminds me the originality of "Little Bo Peep" &
"Jack & Jill" childrens rhymes. Very
cool. :)

( Posted by: lovesessence [Member] On: August 5, 2003 )

Blown away
Excellent stuff, M.E.M!
What a corker of a poem to wake up to.

Like my Mother always said, "Nice things come in small parcels, but so does poison."
This little offering is just small enough to pack one helluva punch!
Go Girlie!

( Posted by: Jasmine [Member] On: August 5, 2003 )

Man eating Maniac
Can I have this poem. I really love this

( Posted by: JEANNIE45 [Member] On: August 5, 2003 )

thanks, maybe and no.
i wrote this when Stephen had left me... just to go to work, sorry to shatter the illusion, but 'Jack and Jill'? not sure about that, it has nothing to do with death like most childrens songs did in those days...

Jasmine, you never talked much about your mother so it surprised me that you would use one of her quote here... are you saying i'm poisonous?

Jeannie45, no you can't. would you let me 'have' one of yours?. but i am glad you like it so much.

thanks all!

( Posted by: man eating maniac [Member] On: August 5, 2003 )

Nice
Short, sweet, though i have to question the "do" in the last line. It makes it sound much more awkward than it should. Other than that, nice poem.

( Posted by: False Dawn [Member] On: August 5, 2003 )

In the nicest...
...possble way,Deary!

I was talking about the poem, you Plum!
What I meant was, it wasn't empty in it's brevity, but so much emotion in such a succinct verse can be fatal in the wrong hands. Not that these hands are yours.

:)

*Phew*Save!*Phew*

*LOL*

( Posted by: Jasmine [Member] On: August 5, 2003 )

i'll let you off this time...
but woe tetide you if it happens again Jasmine!!!
grrr.

thanks False Dawn, maybe you are right, i always seem to want to fill up the last line or something like that i'm not sure...
i'll work on it miss!

( Posted by: man eating maniac [Member] On: August 6, 2003 )

Ahem
I think you'll find i'm sir... *scowls*

( Posted by: False Dawn [Member] On: August 6, 2003 )

sorry!!!!
forgive me, i do that all the time... in public no less!!!

how cringeworthy.

( Posted by: man eating maniac [Member] On: August 7, 2003 )

Apology accepted
Just try not to do it again... *laughs*

( Posted by: False Dawn [Member] On: August 7, 2003 )

Leave it that way
I'm a sucker for short poems, and this is no exception. It has a good rhythm to it and, well... the "do" at the end... I think it fits the poem)

( Posted by: AVIGON [Member] On: August 15, 2003 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: