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Her heart is empty,
Her arms are cold,
She longs to reach out for someone to hold.
But he has left her,
To never return,
And down her cheeks, her tears do burn.

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The following comments are for "empty"
by man eating maniac

Love It!
I do believe this poem could go down in history as one of the greats. Reminds me the originality of "Little Bo Peep" &
"Jack & Jill" childrens rhymes. Very
cool. :)

( Posted by: lovesessence [Member] On: August 5, 2003 )

Blown away
Excellent stuff, M.E.M!
What a corker of a poem to wake up to.

Like my Mother always said, "Nice things come in small parcels, but so does poison."
This little offering is just small enough to pack one helluva punch!
Go Girlie!

( Posted by: Jasmine [Member] On: August 5, 2003 )

Man eating Maniac
Can I have this poem. I really love this

( Posted by: JEANNIE45 [Member] On: August 5, 2003 )

thanks, maybe and no.
i wrote this when Stephen had left me... just to go to work, sorry to shatter the illusion, but 'Jack and Jill'? not sure about that, it has nothing to do with death like most childrens songs did in those days...

Jasmine, you never talked much about your mother so it surprised me that you would use one of her quote here... are you saying i'm poisonous?

Jeannie45, no you can't. would you let me 'have' one of yours?. but i am glad you like it so much.

thanks all!

( Posted by: man eating maniac [Member] On: August 5, 2003 )

Short, sweet, though i have to question the "do" in the last line. It makes it sound much more awkward than it should. Other than that, nice poem.

( Posted by: False Dawn [Member] On: August 5, 2003 )

In the nicest...
...possble way,Deary!

I was talking about the poem, you Plum!
What I meant was, it wasn't empty in it's brevity, but so much emotion in such a succinct verse can be fatal in the wrong hands. Not that these hands are yours.




( Posted by: Jasmine [Member] On: August 5, 2003 )

i'll let you off this time...
but woe tetide you if it happens again Jasmine!!!

thanks False Dawn, maybe you are right, i always seem to want to fill up the last line or something like that i'm not sure...
i'll work on it miss!

( Posted by: man eating maniac [Member] On: August 6, 2003 )

I think you'll find i'm sir... *scowls*

( Posted by: False Dawn [Member] On: August 6, 2003 )

forgive me, i do that all the time... in public no less!!!

how cringeworthy.

( Posted by: man eating maniac [Member] On: August 7, 2003 )

Apology accepted
Just try not to do it again... *laughs*

( Posted by: False Dawn [Member] On: August 7, 2003 )

Leave it that way
I'm a sucker for short poems, and this is no exception. It has a good rhythm to it and, well... the "do" at the end... I think it fits the poem)

( Posted by: AVIGON [Member] On: August 15, 2003 )

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