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And it is the relationship that counts most, and matters most.

What follows here may be discarded as merely my opinion. That is correct. It is. But it is opinion based upon fifty five years of knowing my wife, and fifty two years married to her. I believe that what has worked for us two can work for others also. We are not special people.

A lasting relationship is built on mutual enjoyment and benefit. It is not one person dominating the other at the other's expense. It is kindness, and considering the other before yourself.

Within a developing relationship the man and woman need to talk over the important elements of their relationship. These may not surface immediately or all at once. But in time these matters will need to be aired and dealt with if the two are, and wish to remain, serious about each other.

There are necessary elements to a good and lasting relationship.

Phinance : work out attitudes towards money, priorities for money, handling of money matters.

Phamily : children - how many , when ? A recognition that the responsibility for the children is a dual one, even where one parent may have more responsibility than the other.

Physex : a relationship is more than physical, but the physical is important, plays an important role in togetherness , especially in the early years.

Phuny : a sense of humour - the ability to laugh with each other, even at each other so long as this is without malice.
For a good relationship, there needs to be INCOMEPATABILITY. He must have the income, she the pat-ability.

Overall of this , Trust.

The ages of the couple in a relationship of any depth is a relevant issue but there are no hard and fast rules even here. A good and sound relationship can develop whatever the ages of the individuals. If there is a wide age gap then it will be necessary for each of them to recognise in advance that as years pass there will arise differences between them - not that those differences need cause division, but in order to recognise adjustments have to be made.

The relational bond between two people is foundational to all else. Get that relationship right and no matter what else life may bring them, life and living will remain stable.

In short. Love each other - in all its facets.
Look after each other - in all those ways.
Grow old together!

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The following comments are for "A wedding does not make a marriage and a marriage does not make a reltationship"
by Sercombe

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