The Death of Franny.
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Frances Dorothy Farkas
We had moments of human interaction. They were moments that felt hidden. We would escape family functions and smoke cigarettes. I never smoke darts, but when the gram calls for me to sit on the porch and share a dart. I always welcomed the company. I always shared my most private thoughts with her. Our time together was short, she treated me not as family. She spoke dark, passionate, real and expressed her thoughts. You know when your drinking with friends around a fire and you just say your thoughts existentially. This was our bond. Frances and I since I was a young child have been on this relationship . We snuck whiskey in flask to weddings, we arranged trips to the store to get smokes, she had me go to the store to grab candy for us to enjoy and a few times a fine cigar. During family functions we had a hand signal code for a dart break.
Frances never treated me like family and I appreciated this act of human connection. When we were alone together, I felt like I was talking to a best friend. No Judgement, No History to jade each others memories. She lived her life freely, she lived a life taking everything as it was. Absolute freedom.
Her escape was coming north to visit Kathy and Dave for a month in august. She could be her complete self. We would play scrabble, card games, drink soda, smoke darts on the back patio. We would sit and say nothing to each other. She looked at me and simply told me how she felt, with life, her past, what she wished for and we joked about the stupidity of humans. We discussed how she felt inside, sadness, her loneliness, regrets and her most proud moments in life.
Sincerely I felt she understood and this was our bond. She was not my grandmother, my mothers mother. Frances was my friend and my connection to the family.
I Love you and I do not know if I can ever find another soul to fill my existential view on life.