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Before we start, good lord it’s been a long time. Like, very long. I haven’t written anything in awhile, I didn’t even think I had anything to write, but for whatever reason, here’s something. It’s a style I decided to steal from Hero Complex, aka David. I hope everything is going well for everyone, I’m glad the site is still up. For some reason, I was inspired to write some confessions, I hope they are interesting to read. Warning: Graphic language




There I was...watching it happen right before my fucking eyes. Everyone knew her as that blonde girl that occasionally was on my Snapchat or by the beat up old ford that was in my driveway...where did she go? I lost sight of her again but the anxiety didn’t dissipate...how many of these guys had the same thing going through their head? Am I any different than them? Am I the one she really cares about or is it really just a game? The cold bud light does nothing to soothe the insane scenarios whirling through my head but I smile and laugh and my phone, like anything else matters to me in this fucking world right now

*snap*

Fuck it’s hot. Jesus why am I in this fucking desert? I adjust the strap on my shoulder, the weight of the M4 on top of the body armor takes its toll after 7 hours of guard duty. The other two guys laugh at some joke as I zone back in to reality. Joe lights up a cig and leans back on the T-barrier as the other guy dumps his face into the ice filled cooler. “What is it, a thousand degrees out here?” he asks breathlessly, a combination of sweat and water dripping down his face.

Our responses were cut short as we heard an explosion in the background. “Fuck!” we all cried as we scrambled in three different directions, all of us ready to kill at a moments notice.

*snap*

God why am I here right now? All the other students chattered insistently as if weren’t 8:50 on a Saturday morning. Why did I fuming sign up for this class? I put my face in my hands and groaned.

“Not a morning person huh?”

Coming out of the monstrous abyss of swirling memories from the party last night I shook my head and turned to be left towards the older lady.

She had dark hair singed with grey, slightly heavy set and definitely had the air of a mother about her. I would guess she was mid thirties or so and I shrugged non committedly.

She gazed quizzically into my sleepy eyes “Oh hey, uh did your wife or girlfriend kiss you goodbye when left for class this morning?”

“What?” I snorted derisively. What a ridiculous notion. I sleep alone, comfortably in a queen sized bed with one too many pillows. I haven’t had an actual girlfriend since I came back from that godforsaken desert and she was pregnant with someone’s kid.

“Uh no, I’m single,” I stifled a laugh.

“Oh..well you have lipstick on your cheek from where someone kissed you,” her face full of confusion.

Other students had heard. Of course, they were all female. Apparently all the nursing students also needed to take a math class this semester.

All of them watched as my brain processed the statement. “What,” I wiped my hands across both of my cheeks as a flood of memories rushed back to me from last night.

Bar. Cute girl. Things. “Shit,” I answered as the rest of the classroom laughed. “Uh I went out last night,” my face beat red. Fuck.

*snap*



------
Havoc


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