Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(8 votes)

RatingRated by

You must login to vote

brightly the stars shine down through
false words and harsh accusations -
visiting the planet are we?

in the quiet night the whispered words
rise softly in the air.
lifting the in the breeze effortlessly.

while channeling moonbeams through
pleasant memories and moments.
she listens for the sound that is key.

will another night pass now to bring
another day of light.
will it be better in the dew dropped morning
when all has faded from what he sees.

-- Stacey

Related Items


The following comments are for "Night Moments"
by Dolphingurrl

I wasn't sure that I really liked this one. I seemed a little muddled to me. I don't know a lot about poetry so it might just be my tastes.

I did go back and re-read it a couple of times to get a better sense of what was written and what you were trying to say. I liked the way you were moving from moment to moment and I also liked the fact that it seems to be written from the point of view of a second person looking in and seeing all of these moments occur at night. I thought that was cool.

( Posted by: wrath186 [Member] On: July 29, 2003 )

A Break-up?
I'm not sure, but is this a break-up? I know its definitely a betrayal of trust from the first verse alone, but i wondered if it went that far. If that was the meaning behind this, then i have to say that it is very well written. It explores so many areas of interest at once whilst staying singular in its task of describing the event. I liked this a lot.

( Posted by: False Dawn [Member] On: July 29, 2003 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.