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Author's Note:
If the latex glove fits...


Teasing the night away
(3 May 2015)

She says, with surgical indecision,
I could do this all night
(but never does).
He says, with parched tongue,
You would have to bring your sister
(but he knows she doesn't have one).

This is how the world turns then,
achingly touching every exposed limb
before ignoring them and moving on,

leaving behind a trail of doubts.

Come morning, with the sun
almost blue, they meet again,
but this time they are strangers.

She says, twirling her hair with
divorcée glee,
You should have stayed the night
(even though no invite was made).
He replies
(frustrated beyond what little
faith remains),
I did.


------
I will never write like you and I hope you never write like me.

"...the only war that matters is the war against the imagination--all other wars are subsumed in it..." -Diane di Prima




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Comments

The following comments are for "Teasing the night away"
by toscano

We Parted Strangers
Passion makes us strangers...
Even to ourselves...

( Posted by: awhippingflame [Member] On: May 4, 2015 )

restructure
She says, with surgical indecision,
I could do this all night
(but never does).
He says, with parched tongue,
You would have to bring your sister
(but he knows she doesn't have one).

Come morning, with the sun
almost blue, they meet again,
but this time they are strangers.

She says, twirling her hair with
divorcée glee,
You should have stayed the night
(even though no invite was made).
He replies
(frustrated beyond what little
faith remains),
I did.

This is how the world turns then,
achingly touching every exposed limb
before ignoring them and moving on,

leaving behind a trail of doubts.

( Posted by: toscano [Member] On: May 5, 2015 )

writing
I like them both, Sir. Good stuff, this.

( Posted by: pablowilliams [Member] On: May 5, 2015 )

invite
First, I just want to say, "WOW!" I love the mood and pace of this piece. The images were graphically clear yet surprising. Then let me say I prefer the version ending with the sudden shift in perspective, "I did." It's balanced and powerful. Finally, and it may be a personal prejudice, "invite" seems too colloquial for the rest of the poem:
"(though no invitation was given.)" sounds better to my ear and less distracting to the intent.
Regardless, it is a beautiful portrait in dialogue.

( Posted by: Poeteye [Member] On: May 8, 2015 )

Only the lonely
that "trail of doubts" is so familiar to me. I spent my formidable years drenched in the silliness of a young man. This took me back to that with a sort of romanticism.

Reading this again...because it's that good, Sir.

( Posted by: Pablowilliams [Member] On: May 10, 2015 )

what little faith remains
Thank you for the reads, friends. Haven't written a single poem since I posted this one but I ain't giving up.

( Posted by: toscano [Member] On: May 25, 2015 )





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