Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
0.00

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

To her tis sweet
The red drippings
From her fangs
Hangs fresh flesh
And muscle
From fragile
Bone

For miles and
Thousands of years
The African lands
As been her rightful
Home she wears it like
A crown and seats it
Like a thrown

She stands off any
Predator with complete
Authority she's queen
Of the jungle the
Deadliest creature
Sedater

From the tit bits
Of prairie mice
To the meaty antelope
Though sometimes they
Elope she is patient
In the marriage
Hunt

She pants but in
Satisfaction along
With her eyes
In headlights
Shine bright
Like demon eyes
Is a smile from
A lioness







Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "A smile from a lioness"
by Michaelpatrick

Shades of Penelope
Somehow this reminded me of Pen. It's a bit more "raw," however. Still, I'm sure it's something she would like. However, you're style is uniquely your own, and though I tripped over the fourth stanza (thinking antelope instead of elope and stumbling over too many "but"s in an incomplete sentence), I enjoyed this poetic snapshot of a meal and the diner's emotions very much.

( Posted by: poeteye [Member] On: January 10, 2015 )

Poeteye
Thank you for your comments.I wandered about the forth stanza also I really don't like it much myself.I'll probably work ont it.I'm gonna say hello to Pen.

( Posted by: michaelpatrick [Member] On: January 10, 2015 )

slinging
I love raw, and i love this. Good word-slinging. Thank you for sharing.

( Posted by: Pablowilliams [Member] On: January 12, 2015 )

Pablowwilliams
Thank you.

( Posted by: michaelpatrick [Member] On: January 14, 2015 )

Pablowilliams
Sorry for the misspelling of your name and thanks again and your welcome.

( Posted by: michaelpatrick [Member] On: January 14, 2015 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: