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AS I LAY STILL IN MY BED, IT FELT
AS THOUGH SOMEONE TOUCHED MY HEAD
MY EYE LIDS BEGIN TO CLOSE VERY SLOWLY
THEN, I SPOKE OUT SO BOLDLY
WHO IS IT? WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I BEGAN SAYING " YEA THOUGH I WALK THROUGH
THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH, I WILL
FEAR NO EVIL, FOR THOU ART WITH ME "


THEN I STARTED TO SING, GOD
KEEP ME UNDER YOUR WING

THERE WAS PEACE, AT LEAST, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT
AND AGAIN, I SAID " IN THE NAME OF JESUS "
WITH YOUR BLOOD I WAS BOUGHT

FINALLY, THE SOUND WAS GONE AT LAST
AND I SAID, "LORD" FORGIVE ME, I WILL FAST


------
"If we will seek the counsel of the One who keeps us, and not of our own understanding; Then we would accomplish much, much more" - ~Jeannie Simpson~






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Comments

The following comments are for "" SOUNDS IN THE NIGHT ""
by JEANNIE45

Sweet
I like this one alot. Good job.

( Posted by: lovesessence [Member] On: July 19, 2003 )

Simple
A simple poem with little real hidden meaning anywhere in sight, and no real thought-induction. I was probably too nice in giving this a 7. It flowed though, which is good - the content was just a little lacking for my tastes.

( Posted by: False Dawn [Member] On: July 19, 2003 )

THANK YOU
Thank You Lovesessence:

May God bless You.

jeannie45

( Posted by: JEANNIE45 [Member] On: July 19, 2003 )

THANK YOU
FalseDawn:

I don't agree with alot of your poems either, but it's you, and that's whats important in my book. Being yourself, but I would leave it up to the professional's though

peace,
JEANNIE

( Posted by: JEANNIE45 [Member] On: July 19, 2003 )

Religion In Poetry... Hmm...
Sounded a bit cheap when the word 'Jesus' wondered its way into it, some other name would have been fine but that... well, there was a lot of humility and the sense of submission. Not at all forceful or powerful, no special emotion was envoked but irony. Why? It left me an ironic feeling of reading a banner of a new-age cult, for it was not christian or even atheistic. Religion was mangled into dreamy-fluffy verses, it felt like floating down a stream of optimistic pink clouds.
Grrr... soz, but it lacks emotion.

( Posted by: Adrian Shepard [Member] On: July 19, 2003 )

JUDGING
ADRIAN
SWEETIE,
IF YOU KNOW GOD WORD'S SO WELL. THEN YOU SHOULD NO THE BIBLE SAYS JUDGE YOURSELF FIRST

GOD BLESS YOU
JEANNIE

( Posted by: JEANNIE45 [Member] On: July 19, 2003 )

Professionals?
This isn't what this site is about though, and frankly, I think I do more with the words I choose than you do with yours. And I didnt say that I didnt agree with it (though being atheist, I dont), just that it lacked any real emotion or conviction - something that I see I've been backed up on by adrian above. Please take your constructive criticism as such and not a personal attack on yourself, because you'll never improve with that attitude, and you sure as hell won't make friends that way.

( Posted by: False Dawn [Member] On: July 19, 2003 )

Judging
"THEN YOU SHOULD NO THE BIBLE SAYS JUDGE YOURSELF FIRST"


So if you didn't come here to have your poems read and judged, then why did you come here?

( Posted by: False Dawn [Member] On: July 19, 2003 )

PRAY
FALSE DAWN

GOD BLESS YOU ABUNDANTLY, BECAUSE HE POURS OUT HIS BLESSINGS UPON ME ALL THE TIME

PRAYER IS POWERFUL. USE IT SOMETIMES HON

JEANNIE

( Posted by: JEANNIE45 [Member] On: July 19, 2003 )

Believe what you like
...but it doesn't mean you can go round with the high and mighty "i'm always right" attitude.

( Posted by: False Dawn [Member] On: July 19, 2003 )

Pray? No way
Sorry, but I don't believe in all that. If we had a benevolent God who listened to our prayers, would there be so much suffering in the world? Not likely. But I don't care. I'm not an extremist or someone willing to change views. I'd just appreciate you not telling me what to do.

( Posted by: False Dawn [Member] On: July 19, 2003 )

*Thump* Goes The Book
Ha ha ha. Sarcasm, that. It just occured to Me that the benefit of the Bible's literary length is in its physical measures, more than in the ethics department. People tend to use its thickness as a shield. I in special dislike weird people calling other strangers 'hun' and 'sweetie'. There was criticism and all she can say is some rumblings about the Bible. Hell, Im no expert in Jewish mythology, and Im glad that Im 'saved' by My own common sense that 'guides My hand etc.' Furthermore, if left with the notion of not understanding what the commentator said, it is better to leave your counter-comment unsaid, for the ones You posted were utterly non-logical, and I can predict that even You dont know what You ment by saying some 'pearls of wisdom' to pull an effort and leave everyone else baffled.
Many on this site are not christian? Doh! Im not here to offend any user or pick on someone, but RCallacci, even Your avatar shows You that theres no christianty to be mentioned in Your case. No offense but true. Christianity seems to be a trend of the blindfolded ones, it seems, for it is so easy to respond to constructive criticism by saying something in the lines that 'I know something You dont understand because Im saved by the grace of God'. To take it to the maximum, in answer to criticism, You say 'pray'? What the hell does praying have to do with criticising poetry? A weak response. This is not a boxing-match though, and I don't like to smack ppl when their already face down on the ground.

( Posted by: Adrian Shepard [Member] On: July 19, 2003 )

my two cents
If you'd like my humble opinion (and if you don't, you are getting it anyways), arguing over religious beliefs is a pointless affair. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, so be considerate. I agree with Bob, this is a writing site, one for writers, not people seeking salvation. I commend your faith, I think its great, but don't force your faith onto others. Keep your focus on writing, and out of matters of faith.

( Posted by: strangedaze [Member] On: July 19, 2003 )

NO ARGUING
GOD BLESS YOU. AND THAT'S THAT.

THIS IS ABOUT SHARING ONE'S VIEWS.
OPINION'S ON OTHER PEOPLE WRITING AND HOW ONE CAN IMPROVE THEIR WRITING BY ANOTHER OPINION. I LIVE FOR GOD, SO LET IT GO AND BE HAPPY. BECAUSE I AM

JEANNIE

( Posted by: JEANNIE45 [Member] On: July 19, 2003 )

RIGHT
RCALLACI
NOW I VALUE YOUR OPINION. YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. THANK YOU

GOD EYES ARE UPON US. AND I DO FEAR HIM. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WHAT YOU SAID. THIS IS ABOUT WRITING

GOD BLESS
JEANNIE

( Posted by: JEANNIE45 [Member] On: July 19, 2003 )

YOU ARE RIGHT ALSO
STRANGEDAZE;
THANK YOU, THIS IS A W RITING SITE. IT GOT ALL TURNED AROUND SOMEHOW.
PLUS, CURSING IS NOT MY THING.
THANKS AGAIN,
GOD BLESS YOU
JEANNIE

( Posted by: JEANNIE45 [Member] On: July 19, 2003 )

Just A Bit Peeved
I mean, I'm sorry if this seems childish, but your response to my comment really offended me. "Leave it to the professionals". Sorry, but I just can't stand people with a "holier than thou" attitude, and that's what you forced on me, Jeannie.

To the rest of you, can I just ask if perhaps I was too harsh in my first comment? I cannot see the harm in it, or how it could have provoked such a hurtful reaction from the writer, but if there is something i have missed... I'd be glad to know so that I can apologise for this disagreement.

( Posted by: False Dawn [Member] On: July 19, 2003 )

The end is nigh
This debate is at and end. If you would like to have a religious debate - DO IT ELSEWHERE. This site is not a place for that, nor any other kind of debate other than about the craft of writing. I hate to get involved like this, I like things to handle themselves but this is getting personal and out of line, which I can't allow to go further.

( Posted by: Chrispian [Admin] On: July 19, 2003 )

Nothing wrong with religion
I have nothing against her faith, it was just her attitude to me that I found horrible. I gave her some advice on why I thought her poem lacked edge to it and she goes and throws it in my face by making some crude remark about my poems. Sorry if I over-reacted slightly, but I do not take kindly to such personal abuse, especially over what I write.

( Posted by: False Dawn [Member] On: July 19, 2003 )

THANK YOU
LIVINGFAITH;
thank you so much.

God bless you
Jeannie

( Posted by: JEANNIE45 [Member] On: July 19, 2003 )





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