A-Hole, ch II
You must login to vote
" What the Fu ...!" I woke with a start, a man's voice still ringing in my ear. I threw the bed coverings in the air when I realized, to my relief, I was all alone.
"Bang! Bang! You're dead!" I heard Hunter and Gunner, who are screaming as they chased one another through the house. The clock was flashing twelve noon when Gunner ran up to the bed and stuck my nine milimeter pistol in my face.
"Bang! Bang! Daddy, you're dead!"
"What the FU ... ?" I yelled, snatching my gun from my seven year old. "Where'd you get that?"
"From your closet."
"My closet? What'r you doin' in my closet?"
I don't know." He shrugged his little shoulders like Opie Taylor. If we weren’t about to get killed, seriously, it would've been cute.
"You don't know? Where's Mom?"
"I don't know,' he shrugged again, but I'm hungry now."
"What time is it?" I looked at the clock again, the clock was still flasing twelves, my 7yr old looked at me and shrugged again.
"I don't care if Mom's home or not, you're not to go in my closet, and you're definitely not to play w/my gun! Do you understand?" He gave me a nod with his big, brown puppy dog eyes as I realized the futility of admonishing a seven year old. It was my fault that the gun hadn't been properly secured. After all, how secure is a shoebox?
"Cassie, Cassie!" I yelled for the mother of my children, Carrying the gun through the house. The house was a wreck! The children had run amok and it was getting late and I had to get ready for work. The kitchen was covered in spilled milk and cereal, smeared with peanu tbutter, jelly and day old bread.
"Hunter!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. How long has your Mom been gone?" He shrugged again. I sarted getting dressed for work. My pants wouldn't fit, my shirt was wrinkled and I only had one sock. I heard the car pull up and went out to meet it.
"Cassie?" I called as I stalked out with one sock on. "Where've you been, why haven't you finished the laundry?"
"Why haven't I finished the laundry?" If looks could kill I ‘d've been dead. "Why didn't you put gas in the car?"
"Gas?" (Now's not the time to tell her I don't remember coming home, so how could I put gas in the car?)
"I ran outta gas half way to town! I walked the rest of the way, and when I got there I didn't have a gas can!" she said, hauling in the few bags of grocies. "The A-hole at the gas station wouldn't give me one, so I had to take the money outta the grocery money to buy one! All they had were those five gallon containers, then I had to walk back lugging that five gallon can of gas, A-hole!" She looked at me when she said it.
"Didn't anyone stop to give you a ride?"
"Oh yeah! Your girlfriend Joan. You know, the one you'r always smiling at, who thinks you're so cute, funny, and smart? Tramp drove passed me twice, coming and going and didn't stop."
"Maybe she didn't see you?" I offered.
"Didn't see me? She almost ran me over as she waved on her way passed!"
"I don't know, maybe her car was full?" What did I say that for? I really was an A-hole. Cassie gave a hrmph and went back out to the car for another bag of groceries. She grabbed the last bag and slammed the lid on the trunk, she stopped long enough to look me over.
"What the hell happened to you?" I stood there; barefoot, with my wrinkled shirt flapping in the breeze and my tighty-whities showing underneath my unfastened pants.
"Have you seen my sock?" I held up the one sock i could find, as she blew passed me.
"A-hole!" It wasn't the first tie she called me that, but it was the first time she meant it.