Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
0.00

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

The computer called, but when I answered
there was a silence as if I had shocked
it dumbstruck with my too cheerful response,
and it had to hand off its connection.

An operator clicked in to assist
and picked up the receiver to explain
the reason for this automated call,
while mangling my name’s pronunciation.

We were off to a bad start, and I thought
I might have preferred the mechanical
entity over this replacement dolt,
who launched into script reading, heedlessly,
about a matter of no real concern
to anyone awake or with a soul.


------
The quickest way for me to learn something new is to first understand why I'd like to learn it.


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "ROBO BUZZ "
by poeteye

Edited
Poeteye, I sorta edited the piece to how i read it. Meh, Thought?


The computer called, but when I answered
there was a silence as if I had awoken
it dumbstruck with my, too cheerful response.
and it had to end its connection.

An operator clicked in to assist
and picked up the receiver to explain this
the reason for an automated call,
while mangling my pronunciation.

We were off to a start, Then I thought
I might have preferred the mechanical
entity over this replacement Ghost,
who launched into scripts of reading,
about a no real concern of mine
or anyone awake or with a soul.

( Posted by: NucleusFire [Member] On: September 13, 2012 )

Detide ("Edited" backwards)
Well, the original is a blank verse sonnet. Your version is less metrical (not that mine was perfect), and I'm not sure it is more clear ("mangling my pronunciation" and "scripts of reading about a no real concern" seem confusing). However, it does point out to me that this is an unpolished piece in need of work, and I thank you for taking the time to make me aware of this. Perhaps "dolt" is the wrong word, but I'm not sure about "Ghost" either. I will consider working on this, and may come up with something altogether different, perhaps including the reverie or task at hand that was thus interrupted.

( Posted by: Poeteye [Member] On: September 13, 2012 )

ofcourse
It is your own work, I just was reading and like your work. :) For me this was my perpetration

( Posted by: NucleusFire [Member] On: September 14, 2012 )

I liked the title
and loved the poem.

p.s. this is not a recording...

( Posted by: johnjohndoe [Member] On: September 15, 2012 )

seeing/hearing
though the poem could use some tightening in a few places I like the message you shared. While we often complain about the "machine" recordings when we call, sometimes the humans who answer are worse.

When someone starts reading that scripted message I suddenly think "this person/company/entity could not care less about me, what I believe, or what I do for a living."

BW

( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: September 22, 2012 )

The New Lit.org
I thought for a moment this was about the New Lit.org ......

You know that feeling when you look around and wonder if you had the map upside down or went to the wrong grid reference.

By a unanimous decision of ..... One .... this still must be the right place.

Where did everyone else go....

I too hate things that go wrong when it seems nobody is around to Kick blame or at least be insulted press number 12345 or if you want me to repeat the menu again etc. However live can be worse

Hoho http://youtu.be/Y_aVanNVcGk

( Posted by: Fairplay [Member] On: September 23, 2012 )

All our lines are busy right now.......!
Amen James...The minute I hear this response to my call...I think to myself, why should I waste time and money, contributing to the coffers of a company that could care less about it's customers, than the bottom line.

I'd like to start a massive revolt against all companies who use this system of communication, starting with Insurance companies (#1 on my list,)Doctors offices, plumbers (waiting while my sink overflows into the dining room!) and last but not least by any means...When they bald facely tell you that "PLEASE HOLD ON...YOUR CALL IS IMPORTANT TO US"!!!!

If it's SO important to them... don't keep me waiting on the line...especially if it's not a toll free number!!!

Who will join me in this crusade??



( Posted by: Beatrice Boyle [Member] On: October 2, 2012 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: