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All For Love

My car was vandalized yesterday. Someone smashed the windshield and spray painted obscenities from the headlights to the tailpipes. I have a feeling it was my girlfriend’s husband who did it. He called me a couple of days ago and threatened to kick my ass if I didn’t leave his wife alone. I thought it was kind of funny because he sounds just like Jay Leno on the telephone. My girlfriend’s husband is a big good looking fellow with really broad shoulders and a cute little dimple in his chin. It pisses my girlfriend off when I talk about how handsome her husband is. Yesterday she threatened to slap my face if I don’t stop talking about him. My girlfriend is very jealous, but she really has nothing to worry about - I only have eyes for him. I mean her. I mean.

The Taggers

Some kids were tagging my neighbor’s brand new redwood fence last night. It was late and I was alone in my kitchen smoking the last of the weed. All the lights were out and everything was dark except the rusty yellow light from the street lamp across the road. All of a sudden, I thought I heard the sounds of hissing snakes. I slowly peered out the kitchen window and saw a couple of guys spray painting gang signs in the shadows. I really did not want to cause any trouble, so I decided to just keep quiet. I sat down on the floor and took another drag, Then I sat back and watched as the dizzy smoke slowly spiraled to Heaven.

The Somnambulist

Reading Raymond Carver’s poetry in the warm spring twilight, I pause a moment and contemplate the scene outside - the long shadows in the street, the sounds of children laughing, the muted tones of my neighbor’s house, a young feral cat meticulously grooming itself beneath the jacaranda tree - I’m wandering through my life like a sleepwalker, I worry to myself. Always reading books, gazing out windows, or admiring the departing sun.

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The following comments are for "Three (More) Short Stories."
by johnjohndoe

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