baptism.by.mire
by mercer102 (Member) - published: July 28, 2012
Word Count: 40 Word Bytes: 1428 Viewed: 371 times
Category - Poetry
© Copyright by mercer102

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[.my.spacebar.is.malfunctioning.]

_____________________________________

baptism.by.mire

i.love.my.washington.park
as.the.sun.sets.just.before.dark
i.peer.at.the.pond
through.the.thrushes.and.fronds
and.there.spy.a.minnow.or.carp

so.while.staring.out.o'er.the.lake
my.cerebrum.started.to.ache
was.it.merely.a.whim
to.go.for.a.swim
or.was.it.a.psychotic.break?

a.drop.in.that.drink's
not.at.all.what.you'd.think.-
it's.a.murky.malod'rous.morass
and.i.thank.and.i.pity
the.kind.fellow.who.did.me
the.favor.to.save.my.poor.ass

oh,.for.goodness.sake
i.jumped.in.the.lake
but.some.days.have.passed.by
and.now.i'm.all.dry

it.would.be.quite.erroneous
(if.not.sanctimonious)
to.stand.up.and.shout.out,."i'm.cured!"
or.to.say.that.this.dip.for.me
represents.some.epiphany
and.not.merely.a.shock.i.endured

see,.it's.not.that.it.has.to.be
such.a.bloody.catastrophe
to.find.oneself.thusly.submerged
it.is.not.so.abysmal.-
think.of.it.as.a.baptismal!.-
for,.though.damp,.one.has.safely.emerged

was.it.such.a.mistake?
can.you.figure.out.why
i.hopped.into.the.lake?
nevermind,.i'm.all.dry

-j

------
J

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Comments

The following comments are for "baptism.by.mire"
by mercer102

Baptism by humor
Formatting aside, I loved this! Thank you for posting. It gave me a smile to start the day. The poem is joyous!

( Posted by: Poeteye [Member] On: July 28, 2012 )

In The lake
I loved this - who knows why we sometimes do what we do. And if we do something untoward I love the grace here to just accept it , give it meaning and move on. I"m not sure if the formatting and little 'i's did the piece any good - I guess there is a bit of theater in it.It would stand well without the 'poet as artist' thing.

( Posted by: jonpenny [Member] On: July 28, 2012 )

irksome.quirk .......
Loved the poetry could have done without the dots. If it has significance .............. it was lost on me. Don't care much for the lower case self deprecation either.

( Posted by: Pen [Member] On: July 28, 2012 )

baptism.by.mire
sorry.about.the.formatting.-.nothing.for.it.....lowercase.is.not.for.effect.but.out.of.sheer.la-iness.(by.the.way,.my.26th.letter.doesn't.work.either!)...thank.you.all!

( Posted by: mercer102 [Member] On: July 29, 2012 )

baptism
Great attention to pleasing rhythm, diversified rhyme, and colourful language. Not to mention original content with a measure of the humorous format of the limerick thrown in.

Then I read the comments and so, the weak link, as it were, in this piece, is "one has safely emerged".

Maybe one has, but the other evidently has not.

What's missing here, what might satisfy your readers better, would be stanza(s) about how your laptop experienced the mire and found itself consequently bereft of its spacebar and its letter "z".

Thank you for posting this!

( Posted by: windchime [Member] On: July 30, 2012 )

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