TRUNCATED
by satishverma (Member) - published: July 9, 2012
Word Count: 84 Word Bytes: 638 Viewed: 96 times
Category - Poetry
© Copyright by satishverma

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A midnight craft
dumps the moon
on a heap of deceits.
I ask my sap to turn back for truism.

It was a question of spacing
between the bodies
in scapegoats;
coming for slaughter.

A scale measures the depth
of defeats. The hands
were busy in mending the
walls of psychiatric ward.

Have you ever tasted a white
poison, sweet in taste?
When you grow old, you will
look like your father.

The name which was absent
in calendar, was found everywhere.

Satish Verma

------
SV

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Comments

The following comments are for "TRUNCATED"
by satishverma

Wowser
Of the two up on the marquee right now .. I like this one better due to it reading more powerfully IMO.

Two suggestions ... perhaps changing this:

The hands were busy in mending the walls of psychiatric ward.

to this:

The hands were busy mending the walls of psychiatric wards.

The other suggestion I have is adding an 's' to calendar.

White poison? Made me think immediately of opium poppies .. China White opium poppies to be precise.

scapegoats for slaughter .. loved that! I absolutely adore a word being turned around to fit another scene. Fantastic.

( Posted by: Pen [Member] On: July 11, 2012 )

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