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Looking at this place
Nexst to mine
On it's side
A black stain runs
Down like a poison vain
A rusty crack
On it's metal spine
Rivets poking out
Like wide eyed children
Watching the trains go by

A faded couches
Broken back
Stares out the window
Tears in it's
Button hole eyes
As it listens to back in black
On my stereo

Tanned like a
Brazilian goddess
Laying in the sand
Who's past her prime
Wringled and spotted
It's skirting falling down
Like a new born fawn
Finaly standing on
I't own before
The early morning dawn

The roof leaks
For I saw
The ceiling cry
From eyes that
Have no eyes
And it touches the
Blind deeply
Broken looking down
They feel no
Strings attached

This trailer
In all it's failer
Is always a
Sore site to see


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Comments

The following comments are for "Trailer"
by michaelpatrick

lucky me
I live in a trailer... they now call them mobile homes but when mine was made it was called a trailer so I'm going to stick to that. I often call it my 'pad' to play on the idea that trailers are placed on cement pads. Okay, enough about me. Instead of spending a ridiculous amount of time scrolling up and down to do corrections and because I'm fairly confident you won't take offense here's my corrections. I have to ask .. do you not have spell check in whatever internet device you are using? Just curious, not cranky nor condemning. I like that you know a lot of complex words even though your spelling is ... um ... flawed.

Looking at this place
Next to mine
On its side
A black stain runs
Down like a poison vein
A rusty crack
On it's metal spine
Rivets poking out
Like wide eyed children
Watching the trains go by

A faded couch's
Broken back
Stares out the window
Tears in its
Button hole eyes
As it listens to back in black
On my stereo

Tanned like a
Brazilian goddess
Laying in the sand
Who's past her prime
Wrinkled and spotted
It's skirting falling down
Like a new born fawn
Finally standing on
Its own before
The early morning dawn

The roof leaks
For I saw
The ceiling cry
From eyes that
Have no eyes
And it touches the
Blind deeply
Broken looking down
They feel no
Strings attached

This trailer
In all its failure
Is always a
Sore site to see

an oddity is that its in the possessive format does not use an apostrophe which the abbreviation of it is = it's includes

This catches many writers including myself. I often double checks to make sure I haven't slipped up and am sure I'm not alone.

This is another gem of a descriptive idea. I'm hoping someone else will give you some pointers on the other poems that I've avoided due to a personal bias.


( Posted by: Pen [Member] On: June 13, 2012 )





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