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Missy van Gogh was almost divorced when she fell in madly in love with her neighbor’s cousin, a guitar playing alcoholic painter named Geoff Kerouac This is the true story about the pathetic relationship between Missy van Gogh and Geoff Kerouac - two star struck lovers with plenty of past and very little future.

It’s a fact that Missy and Geoff were the most perfect strangers on earth the day they met. It happened about twenty years ago. Geoff Kerouac was the lead singer in a country band called “The Veins.” He and Missy were standing outside the “Rope n’ Saddle Saloon.” They took one look at each other and simply fell in love.

Missy was separated from the father of her two children. Her husband's name was Clark. Clark still wanted to sleep with his wife and late one night he grabbed Missy’s ass. Missy slapped him on the face and warned him never to touch her again. “You had your chance. Once” said Missy.

Later that night, she called Geoff and told him all about the incident with her husband. It made Geoff feel low and passionate.

They lived together in Sausalito, in an old fashion bungalow with lots of little candles and straw tatami mats on the floors. One afternoon Missy confronted Geoff about their relationship. She was making a vegetable stew enhanced by liberal doses of bonita flakes, lemon, and Tabasco. She was standing in front of their stainless steel refrigerator in little white shorts and a tiny blue UCLA tee-shirt. Her hands where planted firmly on her full-hips. Missy shifted her weight and glared at Geoff. “If you don’t change your wicked ways,” said Missy, like a 14 year old girl. “I’m going to stray.”

Geoff starred back at Missy. He slowly produced a broad, handsome smile. With his rakish good looks and a talent for rolling a joint with one hand, Geoff Kerouac was known as a rouge. He stood in the spotless coffee-colored kitchen contemplating Missy. Then Geoff slowly pushed his hat back and started laughing just as loud as he could.

A mother of two unhappily married daughters, Missy van Gogh was a graceful 40 year old zaftig woman with beautiful dark eyes. She worked for CalTrans painting double-yellow lines all over the San Francisco Bay area. Missy and her sister, Carmel, were know as the “crazy van Gogh sisters,” in college. They hated their last name with a passion. It drove the sisters crazy every time some one would ask them the classically stupid question: “Are you related to the ‘Vincent van Gogh’s?’” They had hated that stupid question all their lives.

This crap especially upset Missy’s younger sister, Carmel van Gogh - arrested three times for disturbing the peace when someone started laughing at her because of her last name. Carmel van Gogh would systematically kick the shit out of anyone who laughed at her because of her last name. And she would never stop screaming at the person until the cops showed up and dragged her away.

Geoff Kerouac was flat broke when he moved to the San Francisco bay almost twenty-five years ago. He was twenty-three years old. Sometimes he was so desperate for money, Geoff would sell his blood. He was a type A positive, and the Irwin Memorial Blood bank of the San Francisco Medical Society paid twenty bucks a pint.

Eventually, Geoff opened “The Kerouac Gallery,” in downtown Sausalito. At first most people assumed ”The Kerouac Gallery” was a book store. But Geoff sold his paintings there, as well as a few other things by some of his painter friends. Unfortunately, Geoff Kerouac was not a very seasoned business man. Despite brisk sales he almost always lost money.

Missy was born in San Francisco. When she was in college, Missy shared a small apartment on Geary with a pretty young blonde named Taffy Duncan. After a couple of weeks, Missy and Taffy developed the intimate habit of showering together every morning. At first they were a little uncomfortable about the shower. Then they justified their intimate morning ritual by claiming that showering together actually saved money and helped the environment. They never told anyone else about their habit.

The showers were never really sexual, but Missy van Gogh did kiss Taffy Duncan on the mouth at least two or three times in the shower. Taffy never resisted, and she kissed Missy back. They remained the best of friends for the rest of their lives.

And now, today, Geoff Kerouac is very depressed and has decided to stop painting for ever. Geoff is serious. And Geoff is drunk.

So Missy gives Geoff an ultimatum: She can live with a bad business man, but she’ll be damned if she’s going to live with a lazy painter. Missy said she would leave if that’s what Geoff wanted her to do. “You’re an artist,” said Missy, exasperated. “Why don’t you write some poetry about this farce?”

“I’ve written some poetry,” said Geoff. Missy rolled her eyes. “I’ve never seen one of your poems,” she said.

Geoff reached in his pocket and pulled out a pen. He scribbled a couple of quick lines on a napkin and passed it over to Missy. She read the napkin and smiled. Geoff wrote Missy a love poem and it really surprised her.

It was easy the first time Geoff Kerouac had sex with Missy van Gogh. Geoff had just finished making a great deal of money selling some of his paintings. Missy was very impressed. Geoff invited her to his apartment and played the guitar.

She couldn’t afford any of Geoff’s art, and yet she had longed for so many years to meet the painter. Missy van Gogh did not return home for 19 days. She lost her job at CalTrans when she stopped going to work. Missy van Gogh had fallen helplessly in love with Geoff Kerouac.

Every morning Geoff Kerouac has a couple of beers after breakfast. Last weekend Missy van Gogh asked him how he rated her as a lover. Geoff mumbled something incoherently, smiled, and adjusted his blue bow tie. Missy van Gogh heard nothing. Missy van Gogh was too much in love for her own good.

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