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Here is part of chapter one. Please remember this is a horror novel. Let me know what you think and constructive criticism is always welcomed, just remember this is the first rough draft semi-edited.

Chapter 1
My name is Gabriel Alexander Aurelius. I ask you to take a few things into consideration before you embark on this surreal, raw, and sometimes quite often disturbing journey of reading this book. This will no doubt be unlike anything you have ever read before or will ever read again. I can say this because I know for a fact that no one has ever been where I went and come back to tell their story. There have been those who claimed to have been there, yet after hearing or reading their biblically inspired experiences I knew within a few seconds they were lying!

I went to Hell! Yes I mean the real, true, and literal hell, and this is my story.

Every example, interpretation, or description of hell that I, you, or anyone else has ever heard is one hundred percent wrong. Nothing has even come close to scratching the surface of this vile, demented, agonizing, tormenting, and most of all eternal ‘place’ that is hell. I will do my very best to describe it, mostly by giving first hand or witnessed examples rather than truly inept adjectives and definitions. There are truly no single words that can even remotely define such a place…or should I say, such an experience. But lets start from the very beginning, death.

(Death) believe or not will be the easiest thing to describe in this whole experience. When you die, no matter the manner, awake, asleep, murder, heart attack, anything, all ends the same way… You wake up. That’s right, you wake up. Just like you do each and every morning. Aside from ‘where’ you wake up, there’s absolutely no difference at all. The only minor difference (if you can call anything related to your death minor) is you won’t remember falling asleep, unless of course you died in your sleep. Which seems to be how most people want to die. Hope for something else. Just from the little you have read so far you should know why that is NOT be the best way to die. Imagine, you wake up after a supposed peaceful nights sleep. You yawn, rub your eyes, stretch, then look around and WHAM! You have absolutely no fucking idea where you are! There you have it, death, and yes that is exactly how I died, in – my – sleep.

For a minute or ten I thought I must still be asleep. I actually had to pinch myself to be convinced I wasn’t. The first thing I saw of course was the sky, and yes there is a sky. It is like nothing you would ever see in the living world. The sky, and I use the word loosely was a pea green color and thick, very, very, thick. When I took a breath it was as though I was trying to inhale cotton. I started to panic thinking I would suffocate. After what seemed like forever I realized I was okay, this is just what breathing was like in hell…all the time. Once over that shock I looked around a bit. Piss yellow clouds covered the entire sky. No breaks in it at all, so I cannot even tell you what it looks like above them. If there are stars, moons, or if there even is an ‘above them’. The ground I was laying on was nothing but rocks. From pebbles to some the size of mountains. No sand, no dirt, no grass, no nothing…just rocks. As a matter of fact I don’t recall seeing any plants, trees, or even weeds. You would figure hell would at least have weeds. Everything I touched was wet. Aside from it being red, when smelled it I knew right away it was blood. There is no mistaking that sickly sweet iron smell. I’m no doctor so I’m no expert on the workings or make up of blood, but it all seemed to be in a semi coagulated state, slimy, gel like, but still a little watery and loose. It reminded me of pudding that has been out of the fridge too long, and it remained in this state. Never fully coagulating and drying. As far as I know from what I saw and just guessing about the rest, everything everywhere was coated in this shit.

There’s no fire and brimstone that I saw, and it was not even that hot. The temperature is more of a sensation. Not hot or cold what so ever. Do you know that feeling you get when you are very sick from a really bad cold, flu, or some other ailment that gives you this hot one second, cold the next, can’t make up it’s mind , can’t stop shivering, I may need to throw up sensation? That’s what the temperature is in hell, and it never changes! Which is another important thing to mention, repetition is the rule, nothing EVER changes in hell. More about that later.

Headaches…we all love and adore them don’t we? Well get ready for the actual headache from hell, which as the rule seems to be, never goes away. Nope. No aspirin, no Tylenol, no relief. It just sits there behind your eyes and pounds, pounds, pounds, and p o u n d s forever. And as the people and others things here love to say, “Forever is a very long time.” Yes, there are others beings here besides people. Demons? Shit, the truth is there are no demons. These things are spit out of the raggedy ass orifices of other things right here in hell. Void of love, kindness, or anything else resembling true feelings and emotions. Hell really is a dog eat dog, everyone out for themselves kind of place. The more into this book you read you will see and maybe even understand why.

Some (many) people when they first get here and actually comprehend their new everlasting reality, try to kill themselves. This of course will not work. First and foremost…you’re already dead, dumb-ass. When you get to where ever you are going after you die you are ‘born’ into a spirit body this is a direct reflection of how you see yourself. I know some people will find it difficult to understand this, so I will try my best to elaborate. In everyday life you have an image of yourself in your mind. It is how you picture yourself in fantasies, day dreams, or just in general. It has nothing to do with your actual age at the time. It could be your age from a favorite time in your life, or a time in your life when you favored the way you looked. In short…it is your favorite age.

Your spirit body can experience touch, temperature, and pain just like when you were alive. It can be damaged, and repaired (sometimes), become sick, and be healed (again sometimes). The one things that it can’t do is die. Your body could be mutilated beyond all recognition and repair, leaving you a pile of meat and bone. A LIVING pile of meat and bone for eternity! If your spirit body is somehow totally destroyed your spirit is recycled into a brand spanking new spirit body. So, you cannot kill yourself. Many of these attempted suicides are obvious when you see them. This one guy walked by me, his half smashed head and face lying sideways flat on top of his left shoulder. What’s left of his right eyes hanging and swinging like a pendulum with each step he took. Once wet brain matter now gray, dried, and stuck to the side of his neck and face. The cartilage totally missing from the greenish black flap of skin once called a nose. Something resembling maggots were peaking out and wiggling from the holes in his rancid peeling gums where his teeth used to be. His right shoulder and most of his chest looked like they were now located around his hips. Every few steps his back would just collapse and bend all the way back, like someone shutting an open book. Now he’s facing behind himself back resting on the back of his legs, head resting against his ankles, and his brain dragging on the ground attached by a dry leathery looking brain stem and chord. I helped him get his back and head back upright and asked him what happened. He told me that two days after he got here he tried to kill himself by doing a swan dive head first of the tallest rock mountain he could find. In life he was a Calvin Klein model, ha ha ha.

Second point. In hell if you attempt suicide you are forbidden to seek repair. You must either live with the damage forever, or go through the pain of trying to finish your spirit body off. Don’t ask me how they know if you were a suicide attempt, I never did figure that out. Somehow amidst all this chaos the powers that be know almost everything about everyone. Since I mentioned the powers that be I may as well answer the question everyone wants to know…is Satan real?

The truth is I have no idea. No one and nothing I met seemed to know either. Myths and legends abound as they do in the living world, but nothing concrete. In hell Satan is the boogeyman used to keep all that creeps and crawls in some kind of check. The same goes for other notables such as Lilith, and those who were evil incarnate while living like Hitler. Truth be known I did see Hitler and he is no one of power. What I’m about to describe as well as other descriptions later seem far fetched, overly morbid and sick. As well as just plain demented. Yet every single word is true.

This very second Hitler is cursing the day he heard the word ‘Jew’! He is what loosely can be called a celebrity. Though in hell the one thing you do not want to be is a celebrity. People pay to do what they want to him, anything they want for the amount of time they paid for. Usually an hour, but some of the elite buy out a whole day or even a week to throw a party for friends, or to impress someone of power. This all takes place in a glass house at the bottom of a pit. Those who haven’t paid are more than welcome to stand around the pit to watch what happens. There is also a big screen like at a drive through movie theater at the top of the far side of the pit so all can watch every sordid detail. When I saw him two huge creatures were fucking him in each eye socket with their heavily pierced and puss leaking cocks. They must have broke through the bone in the back of his skull because you could see the skin and hair on the back of his head bulge out repeatedly with every pump. Mean while two smaller creatures I can only assume were children of the same breed were jump roping with his pink glistening intestines. Shit flying everywhere and splattering the glass walls and ceiling as little tears became bigger and bigger. For a second a small bloodied and shit covered clawed hand seemed to come out of his ass and wave at the crowd. To this the crowd roared in laughter. They obviously knew something I didn’t. Just then the hand disappeared back into his ass, the two big creatures removed their bloodied, yellow cum dripping cocks, the rest of the gallon or so of cum oozed out of the empty sockets, down his face, and fell to the floor with a wet slap. Hitler gurgled, choked, and was forced to swallow the quart or so that slowly slid down the back of his throat. The child creatures dropped the intestines on the floor not bothering to try to push them back into the gaping slits in his stomach. One of them ground part of the intestines into the floor with their heel leaving an oily like stain. Once void of the rest of the putrid cum Hitler tried to stand up, took a stumbled step and fell flat on his back.

The crowd started to chant, “Gelder…Gelder…Gelder”.

Have you ever seen a pregnant woman’s stomach when the baby kicks or moves near the skin? You actually see the skin rise from what ever body part is pushing from underneath.


That is what many parts of Hitler looked like now. There was definitely movement under the skin of his stomach, chest, upper arms, and upper legs. The crowd was chanting louder now.


Just when I thought my ear drums would pop Hitler started ripping apart. Over the speakers you could hear the tearing and the wet, “SSHHLLOOPP”. Pieces of him were everywhere, and emerging from what was left of Hitler was this little midget demon looking thing. Smiling mouth full of fangs, very muscular for it’s maybe two foot size, and covered head to foot in the blood, slime, and the remains of Hitler’s insides. The crowd went nuts, especially when he began to eat what was left of the once powerful tyrant.

Just then maybe a foot from the remains, Hitler’s spirit body was born again, bawling like a new born baby, to start it all over again.

Anyway, back to my birth so to speak. Once I got a grip on myself I randomly picked a direction and started walking. After a few hours I finally saw a town in the distance. I was scared of what I might find there, but the truth is I just wanted to see another living being. I had so many questions I needed answers to. I also needed to find out how things worked here, what the rules are if there was any. Still, the nervousness in my stomach was making me want to throw up. This is hell, who knew what the beings in this little town would be like?

The town looked like the set from an old western, or a not so run down ghost town. There was just one gravel street running through the center of town. The stores, eateries, apartment buildings, and everything else was on this street. All around the street and the buildings that lined them was nothing more than rock desert. As I was approaching the town itself I noticed the name of the street, Desperation Avenue. How appropriate is that? I decided to walk down the right side of the street. The first building I passed seemed to be a whore house. There were humans and various types of other females in the windows I passed. As they saw me they would start to move sexually and put on a little show. Beckoning me to come in with their finger. One ‘woman’ really caught my attention.

Her face seemed humanoid enough, the only difference being her eyes were elliptical like a snakes’ eyes. Her forehead was bigger than a humans and had mini reddish-brown horns protruding from them, and her skin had a shiny silvery tone to it. Her body was a different story all together. She was totally nude, as every women in the windows were. She had six breast in two vertical rows of three like a female cat or dog would. They were oozing some type of fluid, definitely not breast milk. It was yellow and green like puss from an infection, but with the consistency of curdled milk. Upon closer inspection I noticed that she had no nipples at all, but in their place were miniature mouths. Complete with teeth and a tongue. She noticed me staring at them and smiled, they all smiled at the same time. Then all at once they puked that disgusting fluid again. Her arms were heavily muscled and hairy. Her hands were the size of my face, yet were long, delicate, and very lean. The smallest of her three fingers was easily a foot long. In place of fingernails it looked like she had medal claws surgically implanted. They were shiny, about six inches long and looked to be razor sharp around the edges and ended in two points instead of one. She made Freddy Krueger look like an amateur. Her belly button was pierced and threaded through the hole was someones’ missing optical nerve complete with the eyeball still attached. What was even freakier was the eyeball still seemed alive and would look around ever so slightly. It rested at the top of her vagina, which was located higher up than a humans, right below her belly button. It looked like she had a real human womans mouth surgically attached where her vagina once was. It seemed to be mouthing something, yet made no sound due to the lack of a voice box. The woman stroked the lips of her vagina softly. Then she inserted a finger which immediately began being sucked by the mouth vagina. Watching intently now I could see why this surgical improvement was not a bad idea at all, and even found myself wondering what it would feel like to fuck such a creature.

She turned around and bent over to show me the rest of her goods. The first thing I noticed was her ass was as hairy as a monkeys, which was curly, dark red, and matted. She also had a thick tail, about three feet long, and hairless except for a mangy tuft of red hair at the tip. It was slowly moving back and fourth as if trying to hypnotize me. When it finally moved far enough to one side and stopped moving I noticed her huge red gaping asshole. This thing was clearly worse for wear. It was between a foot, foot and a half in diameter. She was either keeping it open on purpose, or as I thought could not shut it anymore. All around the outside was obviously dried and not so dry shit, or by the look of it diarrhea. The inside wall was glistening black and blue, probably bruising but who knows. There was festering pustules of different sizes all over the inside and outside of her ass. Some just red, some with white heads, and quite a few that had popped leaking blood and puss in her ass and down her ass cheeks. Her asshole was so deep in just disappeared into blackness. Her legs were like two extra hairy male body builders legs. They were thin as chicken legs at the ankles then grew into immense tree trunks where they met that gaping maw of a asshole. Just as I went to leave after being thoroughly disgusted I thought I noticed something moving in her ass. At that moment what seemed like a clump of a million tiny pink worms emerged about and inch or two out of her ass. They did nothing but wiggle and smile each with tiny human faces. I guess she felt them because in a split second she reached into her ass with one of her weapon tipped fingers, snagged about half of them and yanked them out. If that was not gross enough, the very next second she tossed the worms into her mouth and started chewing them like she had not eaten in a month, worm juice exploding out of her mouth and running down her chin. As if noticing my displeasure, she locked eyes with me and gave me a huge open mouthed smile. All I could see was the chunks of guts and remains of these worms in her teeth and on her tongue. It honestly looked like the biggest man in the world had a cold and spit a huge gob of green and yellow infected snot in her mouth!

With that I continued walking down the street. The next building seemed to be a restaurant. I have to admit the smells coming from this place weren’t too bad, and I was starving. Not thinking I reached into my back pocket to get my wallet. When I checked to see how much money I had I notice all my American currency was now a currency I did not recognize. Then the fact hit me that I was stupid to even look in the first place, but lucky for me I did. When you die everything you have on you at the time comes with you. Money automatically changes to hell’s currency. I had one, one hundred dollar bill, with the face of Aleister Crowley on it, six fifties with the face of John Dee on them, three twenties with H.P. Lovecraft’s mug on them, and five ones adorned with the face of Samuel Taylor Coleridge. Plenty for some food.

Once inside I was met by a human woman who looked like a hammer had been taken to her face. The top of her forehead to her upper jaw was completely caved in. Her eyes (no doubt someone else’s eyes as they weren’t even a matching pair) were surgically attached to each side of her head. Her tongue seemed to have a mind of it’s own lolling here and there, drool non stop from the corners of her mouth. She had no eye lids so she was constantly wiping her eyes with a damp cloth. She seemed to speak from her throat the best she could.

“Pease fowwow me thir.”

She showed me to my seat and handed me a menu.

“Wha woul ou cale ou dwin thir.”

I took a quick glance at the beverage section of the menu…

(Human Piss, Hybrid Piss, Dulenka Piss, Mamaria Milk, Once Filtered Sewage Water, Sweet Sabirian Blood, and Hell-fruit Juice)

“I’ll have the Hell-fruit Juice please.”

“Wewy goo thir.”

I should have remembered I saw no signs of any vegetation, therefor there was no fruit. At least not the way I think of it. Anyway, I looked over the menu. Most of which I had no clue as to what it was. So I was thrown for a loop when I saw cheeseburger listed. For a side dish I ordered the hot poppers. It sounded safe enough. She brought my drink and took the rest of my order. The drink was a cloudy pinkish white color. I examined it for a moment before giving it a guarded sniff. Oh my god. The smell was beyond anything I had ever experienced before. Sort of like peach with a hint of old hamburger. My instincts told me not tor try it, but my brain said it had to be better than it smelled. My brain was wrong. It tasted like old yogurt, cheddar cheese, and super sweet over ripe peaches. It was all I could do not to throw up. Luckily right then my food came, and it really smelled good. I took a bite of the cheeseburger quick to clean out my mouth. It was really good. There was no bun, but it made sense there would be no bread in hell. Next I tried the hot poppers. The size and shape reminded me of jalapeño poppers, but the taste did not. Though I have to admit it was not bad neither, kind of good actually. It was spicy hot, meaty, tasted like pork, with a soft center that did resemble cheese. Like an aged sharp cheddar. I quickly finished my meal. When the waitress brought my check I debated asking what I just ate, but then thought better of it. Why ruin a perfectly good dinner.

The next thing I needed to do was find a place to sleep. I asked the waitress before I left. She silently signaled for more of a tip which I gave up. I think what she said was there was a place a block down across the street. I just hope I understood her drooling babble. I followed the directions passing people from normal looking to those no more than walking corpses. I also passed many creatures new to me. All different shapes and sizes. I tried my best not to stare.

In a about five minutes I was standing in front of a hotel. About three stories high, clap board, right out of a cowboy movie. I went in and made my way to the clerks desk. He (I think) was definitely not human. He stood about seven feet tall, his skin was purple and peeling all over. He had three eyes, two the same as humans but pure black in color. The third in the middle of his forehead in between the other two. This eye was closed. He had huge muscles, I mean huge. His teeth were black as night and all like needles, hundreds of them. The rest was the same as a human. When he spoke I was in awe. He sounded so educated, soft spoken, and polished. I would not expect this from a human in hell, much less a creature who looked like this.

This is where it gets weird. After I inquired about a room, paid, and was about to be handed the key, he froze. Right when I grabbed the key. I could not pull it from him or let go. He then close his eyes and the third eye opened. The eye was the most beautiful color blue I had ever seen. It made the whole room seem brighter and radiant. This eye just stared at me as if looking right into my soul. I began to feel dizzy or floating, and warm all over. I was somewhere else for just a second. Somewhere beautiful, but that is all I remember. Then I was back standing there. He smiled at me and said, “Your’e the one.”

Robert Mestre

The Buddhism Primer : An Introduction to Buddhism ISBN 978-1411663343

Artistic Minds Society

Theravada Buddhism Online

"Exterminate all rational thought. That is the conclusion I have come to." William S Burroughs, Naked Lunch


The following comments are for "Part of first chapter of my new book"
by rmestre

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