Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

I think in rhyme double time as if words
are too absurd to be heard in loops without links.
I'm sure alliteration obligations aren't de rigueur
but I can't surrender my ways through the maze
due to logical whims of hers and hims.
I'd lose my right to choose
and will suffer cruel abuse
from those who refuse
to hear the rhythm in rhyme.

"Tigers bloom where there's oodles of room." Zodiac Zoo

Related Items


The following comments are for "Poetry off the cuff"
by Pen

Pen stock
Really? Isn't this the way all good writers "hear" the rhythm in the rhyme scheme? We have to hear the sound and have the education to see the proper words to place at the elected place. Otherwise, I have to go digging through a thesaurus to find words, and then go to the dictionary to find their meaning. It is difficult to stream rhyme rhythm unless you are really practiced at it.

Glad you wrote this, maybe it will keep cheap rhymes out of our rhythms.


( Posted by: williamhill [Member] On: May 11, 2012 )

Rap lyrics
That's how I'd like to hear this piece performed -- especially the third line -- Bea doing the beatboxing and Lucie the scratching. Bobby might add sampling. ;-D

( Posted by: poeteye [Member] On: May 11, 2012 )

Drop that joint..
fresh, as the kids say.


( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: May 11, 2012 )

thanks to three!!
Wow! I was just messing around last night without ... um ... mind alterations .. perhaps it was listening to Adele yesterday while I was on my 3rd road trip in Evangeline. I noticed her rhyming ease which underscores [small pun] her spectacular voice. This was written completely off the cuff and well .. in very short order because I was thinking about how nobody questions lyrics that include rhyme and yes ,, RAP is big on linking words in more ways than one. Not a big fan of it but some is fascinating with how quick their minds are when they're slamming it out. I'm tickled pink this was appreciated and sincerely thank you.

( Posted by: Pen [Member] On: May 11, 2012 )

oodles and oodles
It is like an uneven swing, when you start it seems to go catty whompas, but as you keep swinging it gets into a rhythm --

glad that the subject is non complex -- there could be metaphor and symbolism and a lot of other creative things, but then that uneven even-ness would not be there

Good job Pen


( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: May 11, 2012 )

@ Brian
Thanks! Yes! That was what I was thinking when Adele switched her tempo in one of those incredible soaring songs of hers. It just felt right even though it took a detour. A friend of mine sent me some CD's he'd burned of his favourites so it was an incredible delight to explore someone else's collection from classical to raunchy blues. Just goes to show the right and left can swing to the middle when it comes to music. heh heh

( Posted by: Pen [Member] On: May 12, 2012 )

It does read like rap lyrics. Made me think of Debbie Harry rapping. Also made me think of Rappin' Granny from the Howard Stern Show.

I'm actually one those people who can't seen to get the rhythm of rhyme. Meter is foreign to me.

Good work, Rappin' Pen.

( Posted by: toscano [Member] On: May 12, 2012 )

Rhyme and no reason!
Thanks Pen...let's hear it for all us "legitimate" rhymers who are not taken seriously because there is a glut on the market of sloppy, "forced" rhymers out there who think just because June rhymes with Moon, they are suddently a poet!!

A true rhymed offering is one that tells a story, reaching for rhythm, cadence, elegance, intelligence (Oh lookee...I made a rhyme) without using the obvious June/Moon school of writing.

Most musicians that write, can master this quite easily for their sense of rhythm comes naturally for them. It must flow easily, without a sense that the author labored over every word, determined to add whatever "sounds like" to the mix, but spum out in a seamless spontaneous thread...that just "happens" to rhyme.

We can't always do it of course...but that should be the goal.

And that my exactly what you did!


( Posted by: Beatrice Boyle [Member] On: May 14, 2012 )

@ Francisco & Bea
Francisco - I can see the beauty in non-rhyming poetry and believe nobody should go where they're not comfortable. When I began posting I was ... um ... 'sniffed' at by those superior folks who couldn't wait to inform me that rhyming was passť. I ignored them .. well .. that's not really true .. but I stayed my course because it's what's natural for me. You enjoy my writing - I enjoy yours and there's where the joy comes in. Some of us have open minds and appreciate poetry for what it is ... art. Others? Well, it's their loss as far as I can see.

Bea - oddly enough I'm using moon and June right now in something I've been thinking about for a month or two. heh heh
when one reaches the end of a poem and hasn't noticed the rhymes .. well .. that's mastering the craft for sure. However, some formulas such as villanelles and the like, one would have to be blind not to notice because of the repeats but that's okay too because there's another avenue of interest.

I suppose what's really crucial is that people understand poetry is poetry and crap is crap but nobody should make blanket statements about what poetry is and what it ain't. Some folks see rhyme and just can't wait to be mocking and dismissive. Some folks have an open mind and are tolerant. There's more music in rhyme and who is going to discard a beautiful song?

( Posted by: Pen [Member] On: May 14, 2012 )

she loves it she loves it not she loves it she loves it not

looked at my calendar
where none too soon
It will be June for the summer moon
With flowers in bloom
Gone is the Gloom
Of nights too soon
Birds singing in tune
who can I moon wont think me a loon
Then it is over too soon
for this goon

That's off the cuff and crap.....

Anyone who thinks in rhyme is wasting time hehehe

( Posted by: Fairplay [Member] On: May 16, 2012 )

contrary git
There you go again .. being yourself. heh heh

( Posted by: Pen [Member] On: May 16, 2012 )

Crack of the whip

I just think all words are due a fair crack of the whip Pen...... Unfortunately I have a rather limited vocabulary of Big Words


( Posted by: Fairplay [Member] On: May 18, 2012 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.