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It rained like Chac had blown a divine gasket in that stormy night in 1954. My old accomplice and wartime cohort Alan Turing of Enigma cracking fame had sadly passed away into that cryptograph in the sky. God would have some work to figure that complex puzzle out.

I had taken Lady Margaret to the cinema to watch a film called On The Waterfront (Some dancing and a lot of hoo haa-ing. It wasn't really my thing, of course, but the Lady was enamoured of that Sinatra fellow) and was on our way back, Broderick senior (may he forever rest in most gracious peace) treating the Bentley like the beast she is.

She sat beside me, the rain and our hot bodies misting up the compartment window. It was a feeling such as Romeo must have felt upon alighting for that first time with Juliet as the Lady moved over me and kissed me just to the left of my proud moustache. I was all a-flutter as one tends to be in strange situations.

An alien thought suddenly occurred to me. I took hold of Lady Margaret and for one heart-stopping moment smashed my head into her nose, thus breaking the beautiful appendage.

Broderick had crashed the Bentley. The cost of that piece of irrefutable timing was a small dent in the mighty front carapace of the car and a year in Brittany for the Lady. We never spoke again.

Broderick has just run me my bath and is preparing the ungents. I must away leaving you with this one momentary thought.

Let not your pride come before your fall. Get it in there first.



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Comments

The following comments are for "A Gentleman's relish"
by Delgesu

flash
A most entertaining little sketch. You've found the voice for your character very well. There were a couple of glitches, but overall a pretty good piece of writing.
Glitches? "...was on our way back..." - the grammar police will be onto you for things like that! ;-)
And "An alien thought..." - Slightly ambiguous. The way the rest of the paragraph is written, it sounds as if the alien thought was to hit her in the head, rather than it being an accident. The next paragraph clears it up, though.

Anyway, pretty good all told. Score 8/10.

( Posted by: Spudley [Member] On: July 5, 2003 )

yes indeed
I agree with the dear Spudley in regards to the few little grammar mistakes that made even a meticulous re-reader grow fed up with trying to understand. However, I like the notion of him headbutting her int he nose for no particularly understandable reason. The misassumption of the reader makes it all that much more entertaining. To make the reader into the occasional fool is a lovely trick, and rarely done well. I had a feeling I would like your other works. The voice indeed it very good, just understandable enough, and charming to boot. I like things that surprise me and make me laugh, and this did. It is, much like "Lucky", one of those things, though that I can only really giggle at and not suggest anything useful for, which is a feat worthy of global publication.

I am a little ashamed that I had to start with one of your shortest pieces, but I've scheduled myself badly and have to go to work. Good job!

-Kitten

( Posted by: Kitten Courna [Member] On: July 9, 2003 )





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