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When I extolled the moss-laundered flesh of your arms

When I inhaled the roiling of your appetite

When I drank myself across your correctives

Then I stumped across limbs to belong to you.

But I am withered now.

I am doxa.

I leap into your fears and thus I am righteousness.

Truncate and own me; wield me as your right arm.

Fold me into your will, so I may rest.

Everything begins with lucid indifference.
(Albert Camus)

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The following comments are for "Stumped Across Limbs"
by manatee

It says to me that there is something troubling the author, and it translates well for the reader.

Some of your imagery, or discriptives are a bit odd for my taste:
"extolled the moss-laundered flesh"
"inhaled the roiling of your appetite"

Seem either too abastract, or perhaps not brash enough for the rest of the poem... but that is probably only my misunderstanding. If I read it a few times I"ll probably get the whole thing better.

nice work


( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: April 29, 2012 )

Thanks, yo
Ssssshhhhh . . . mustn't tell anyone that I snuck in to litter a few lines. :)

Thanks to both of you for reading. Freedom, sure; entrapment, yes; enslavement, of course. And always will. Hmmm. co-dependence, perhaps. That's no less abstract, is it? Sorry, BWoz, it's an affliction.

Thanks again for reading and commenting, and thanks to Windchime for your perplexing interest. ;)

PS - Where the heck is everybody? We (me) must try to pop in more often . . .

( Posted by: manatee [Member] On: April 30, 2012 )

I am doxa
Sounds like homecoming to me. And I don't mean because you finally posted something after a long break! I read this as truncated emotions made whole by coming together with another who is just as stumped. Yea, I'm borrowing words from you but I've always been a thief. Spank me.

Or not.

( Posted by: toscano [Member] On: May 8, 2012 )

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