Did you ever have to exorcise a friend from your soul for health reasons? I don’t mean those who fade out of your life as time progresses but those who require drastic action to maintain your sanity. Do you spend a lot of time, like me, making excuses for those cranky-pants who are continually critical because they have so many trials and tribulations in their lives? Do you suffer their illogical outbursts because you believe they’re a person of worth who has had a bad day?
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I’ve had a couple of these in my life time and they’ve were painful lessons which I could have avoided if I’d been more circumspect and not embraced the concept of true friendship until I experienced a painful epiphany.
What I should have done is listened to Kim who told me at breakfast one day that she’d decided she’d let people choose what sort of friend they wanted to be. Of course that was too late when it came to Debbie.
Debbie! What a brilliant woman! She dazzled me with her ability to have total recall when it came to movie dialogue and could rattle off the whole script instead of just the zingers. Sadly, Debbie would choose obscure movies to prove her prowess. Debbie could get difficult tasks done in a jiffy where it would take me hours of struggling. That gave her lots of time to babble on about how she’d get it done later and after slagging off people who weren't in the general vicinity she'd toodle off to Starbucks to bask in the sunlight reserved for those who could afford the down time. Debbie and I traveled together on road trips which were a hoot because she had a quick wit and loved doing zany things. When I lost my head honcho position Debbie dumped me. When our mutual friend lost his the following year, Debbie dumped him which made me realize it wasn’t me who was lacking.
I could mention other lapsed friendships which required an excruciating extrication but I’ll just report I got better at sloughing off the impossible and improbable. However, I never gave up on the concept that it’s possible to make new friends.
So, be a friend, be a pal, be that go-to guy or gal; just understand that sometimes there’s a painful price to pay for having an open door to your heart.
[an]This opinion piece has nothing to do with affairs of the heart and how they often go amok. Those aren't worth agonizing over and I got good at coping decades ago.[an]
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