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Heisenberg is not your friend.
Would you want, in the end, to know
both

where?
and
when?

No such luck. Bend
to see the object, hot and bright,
of your desire. Your movement
changes light. Your eye, warm metal,
glides like wind. Unseen but stiff enough
to stretch and send dry leaves against
the wooden fence. A scratch heard faintly
by the one you stalk.

Walk
slowly, softly past.
The warmth of want
will alter orbits, warp fine lines
and change the curve and comfort of her path.

------
______________________________________________

I blog irregularly at TinkerX. I'm also on Twitter. @andyhavens, go figure.


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Comments

The following comments are for "Alone or dark"
by andyhavens

Heisenberg is not so bad.
I think you might have several conflicting/conflicted poems here.

I’d get rid of the questioning part (it never develops into anything).

The next stanza might be better developed and I suggest you talk about the “compass” of the eye -- and keep that warm, stiff, stretching metal hidden;).

“The warmth of want” is alliterative but warmth is weaker than the gravity of hot bright desirre. Aside from that, I love the ending.

( Posted by: Poeteye [Member] On: March 16, 2012 )





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