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So many years ago my life ended as a mortal
A simple bat, made the decision for me
Leading me to an existents , one that was made only in hell
I only wish from this life, I could run away and flee.

But one thing good happened in my morbid life, I met some one as sweet as you
Not only of the undead, but I was left with the heart and feelings of a man
I feel the beating of an old heart that should not be, why this occurred I have no clue
I thought the undead, feelings were not felt, this wasn't part of my plan.

I am ageless, but I am man, the same feelings, the same desires
Maybe I am unique, but one thing I do know, I don't want to live without you
Within my soul, I feel only what you could cause, within myself, passion like a burning fire
In my present state, I am still man, even though my choices, they remain very few.

Having to live only at night, you are the fire within the darkness, to me that is very bright
You give me reason, a reason for this shell of a body to breathe
So don't be afraid, I would never hurt you, I love you, so please don't be filled with fright
To join me, the choice must be yours and yours alone, but I promise, you I will never leave.

Choosing to step into the darkness from the light, can be a very scary thought
But you must love me enough, to step over that threshold to forever be with me
You are the thing that forever I have sought
Our lives together will be very different, but I love you so, don't you see?

Join me, my love, you I will never leave, my love for you is as abundant as the rain
You make me feel things, things on which I never had a plan
This thing I feel for you, at times I feel as if I'm insane
I am of the undead, but you, the way I feel, I am still a man.

Lanaia Lee

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The following comments are for "I Am Man"
by abbey74

this wasn't part of my plan
Reads more like a short story than poetry. Fix the spelling and grammar a bit and you might be onto something Poe'ish.

( Posted by: toscano [Member] On: February 13, 2012 )

from Lanaia
I have an editor, do you?

( Posted by: abbey74 [Member] On: February 14, 2012 )

I have my education
My intention was not to insult you; I was pointing out what I thought would help. You have the option of blocking people or deleting comments on your posts if they don't rub you the right way. The former would have come in handy five years ago when I first joined this site because there was a time when I thought everything I posted on-line deserved praise. Then I realized I am not perfect and any comments I received - good or bad - were actually useful tools.

But I digress...

A writing teacher once told me that too many commas hinder the reader's appreciation by constanly interrupting the flow. Commas force the reader to pause unnecessarily and ruin the writer's otherwise good work.

Less is more and sometimes more is less.

( Posted by: toscano [Member] On: February 14, 2012 )

from Lanaia
You are absolutely right, forgive me. I am grown and critique helps so much!
Thank you,

( Posted by: abbey74 [Member] On: February 20, 2012 )

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