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(u/k = unknown)
The death of god
In bed wandering about all the little things that are life, because life is nothing but little things or at least that was what i was thinking when suddenly it spoke to me.
u/k:
why would you say such thing? Are you sure?
Olharp:
Not really, in fact i thing thatís not true... itís a lie...
u/k:
then why do you think such thing? Donít you think itís somewhat out of line?
Olharp:
Iíd gladly answer that question but first youíd have to answer mine...
u/k:
take your best shot my friend... but i already know what your question is... still iíll let the words take shape and be heard just to please myself... but make no mistake my friend... you can do whatever you want with the answer...
Olharp :
who are you?
u/k:
well, i am rather cautious with my name... but thereís a word that could describe my future actions... since iím going to be playing with you, i guess you could call me god...
Olharp:
god? Huh, wonít you cut me some slack here... playing with me? What are you trying to imply?
...
But no answer was given to me, though maybe it was just my imagination even if i wasnít certain about it i could do nothing about it. Some would think that iíd try to communicate with... with...
without knowing any other word that refers to the person of my conversation i have no other choice but to say god...
some would think that iíd try to communicate with god after having no reply to my last question but for some bizarre reason it wasnít something that crossed my mind, i just turned around and closed my eyes.
Now that i look back, thatís the first stage of every problem... Denial.

Some days passed by without hearing a word from god, as to why? i do not know, not that iíd have been expecting word from god, at that time god was nothing but a mere creation of delusions and human slavery, but was when i found myself in the same situation as the first time that god spoke to me once more.
Olharp:
Women are quite strange, arenít they? I got some funny comments from them today and i guess i was too out of me to quite get it right but from my point of view they are just naturally stoned their whole life and thatís what makes them so picky.
God:
Are you wandering right now?
Olharp:
So you again...
God:
Donít you think you should be a little more polite?
Olharp:
Why should i?
God:
Well, for starters it was you who didnít keep his part of the bargain.
Olharp:
Bargain? Oh, you mean i didnít answer the questions... know what... i kinda dislike you... so i wonít answer those questions, but still iíll make it up for you... iím going to answer your last question... no.
God:
I do not mind, remember what i said before, god is just a word that describes me.
Now i will give myself the answers, why donít you try giving me the questions?
Yes.
Just fun.
Nothing really, them are them.
Olharp:
That sounds like a game worth trying...
Were you stoned back then when you thought it?
Do you take that thought seriously or is it just fun?
Then what do you think of them?
God:
Who are them?
Olharp:
Another question, i was expecting an answer.
God:
Answers? I already gave away answers...now remember what i told you before, remember which word you use to refer to me...
Polar:
.....

Some minutes passed by and no answer or question came or went just the darkness of sleep that slumbered over me and left me no choice but to give up to it.
Now that i look back, thatís the second stage of every problem... to not care.

Some days passed me by before hearing the word god, that brought it back to my mind, out of the blue it came.
Olharp:
God? How could it be god? Shouldnít it be looking for god?
Olharp:
I said you could call me god, for that is what i am to you.
Olharp:
So youíre my creator... but who created you?
God:
Youíre completely and utterly wrong my friend... youíre missing the real point of view... i have nothing to do with your creation, and as of mine i already know, the only problem is that the answer just brings up the same question with a tweak and so on endlessly.

Guess neither of us was in the mood to continue, for after those last words none of us bothered to keep going on with that chit-chat of ours
Then it came to me the third stage of every problem... realization.

Some weeks passed without anything worth telling happening until a small weird thing occurred it was late at night and as always had to sleep but when i woke up i couldnít believe my senses.
Olharp:
What the hell... wow... what happened here?
God:
What do you mean?
Olharp:
The room... it looks and feels almost holy...
God:
Holy... funny choice...
Olharp:
What do you mean?
God:
I was sad.
Olharp:
Sad? What does that have to do with the room
God:
Itís not holiness... it is ease...
Olharp:
Iím at a total loss here man.
God:
Just say it
Olharp:
Say what?
God:
You know
Olharp:
Hmm... youíre taking advantage of me, you know.
God:
Come on, itís just some words. You just have to put them words together and spitíem out.
Olharp:
Ok, ok, what happened?
God:
Already told you, i was sad.
Olharp:
You are really having fun with this, donít you?
God:
Just a little bit.
Olharp:
So.
God:
Is just that i like the way you would call it.
Olharp:
...
God:
Tears, god tears.
Olharp:
What?
God:
Itís simple, god tears create an atmosphere of ease or as you called it holiness...
Olharp:
You are really enjoying this.
God:
Kind of.
Olharp:
So, how are you doing?
God:
Much better, as calm as a starfish and i forgot why i was sad.
Olharp:
You are really something, you know?
God:
Yes, i know.
After hearing those words, i didnít want to go on... funny, i was glad he was fine now... still hate the bastard... but there is something about him that makes me proud of knowing him... still hate him... just have to keep repeating myself that or i might end even liking him...

After that pointless conversation passed what felt like months, it couldíve been minutes, hours or weeks, could not tell the difference but a familiar song brought our next talk; Still donít know what god was expecting out of it.
God:
Dull doll over the corner stone
Soft pleasant aroma lingers
Tasted her fingers
Couldnít keep the secret so i told my shadow about the flavour of life
Dull and boring
Empty and plain
Tasted her skin
Couldnít keep the secret so i told the river about my desire of life
Slow and easy
Simple and frail
Broke her heart
Couldnít keep the secret so i told the earth about the death of life
Couldnít feel anything and it felt fine
Dull cold doll over the corner stone
Soft pleasant aroma fades away
Touched her hands
Cold and blue now
She posed a request
She wishes to clip my dirty nails
My shadow opposed as if jealous of life
The river dragged her as to finish what i started
And the earth took her away where couldnít be seen again.
Olharp:
Sounds familiar.
God:
Familiar? What do you mean?
Olharp:
Iíve heard it before. When i was about to wake up.
God:
Then go to sleep again.
Olharp:
Then i might see her again
Olharp:
So you do understand something after all, but let me tell you my friend, she is nothing but a dream, a youngsters dream... youíll waste your time if you keep looking.
Olharp:
But she is life, isnít she?
God:
Look for another kind of life, havenít you heard from earth? Life died.
Olharp:
How could she have? She is there.
God:
Is that so? then perhaps you could pinpoint me in the right direction by answering some of my questions... if you are willing that is.
Olharp:
What are you trying to gain?
God:
Have i had any interest before than no interest at all. We are just passing by here.
Olharp:
I already guessed that, you have no interest at all, then why do you live?
God:
...
Life is dead.
Olharp:
You are keeping things unclear and by your choice of words iíd say itís deliberately.
God:
Weíve lost the main subject.
Olharp:
Huh? Main subject? Oh, right, your questions, go ahead, i remember life she must... she must...
...
God:
She must... canít finish your sentences? The same will pass with your answers.
Olharp:
Go ahead and open my eyes then, if that is your wish.
God:
How does she smells like?
Olharp:
Havenít smelled it here but she smells like a mix of vanilla, red apples and some more things i couldnít be able to tell apart.
God:
Fine, then... how does she look like?
Olharp:
She has a thin pointy face, her hair... her hair...
...
Well, her eyes are... her eyes...
...
I donít remember.
God:
Just as i thought, i will not bother asking why are you looking for her, already know the answer.
Olharp:
Thatís it, thatís all you have to say; funny, you know, itís the first time.
God:
The first time?
Olharp:
For an intelligent person you keep repeating my words too much... i just had to say it, but now lets continue.
God:
...
Olharp:
Itís the first time you tell me what to do, why is that?
God:
Almost right, i am just giving you friendly advice. Trust me.
Olharp:
Iíll keep it in mind.
God:
...
Olharp:
...

Guess we were testing our ability to be silent or were just confused by our strange way of being but it just lasted for few days for my interest made me try to pull a play.

Olharp:
Rain, i want rain.
God:
Remember what happened last time you were on rain, for if i remember correctly you dropped yourself into your bed hugged your knees and asked me to kill you.
Olharp:
Was just a phase.
God:
No, it was rain.
Olharp:
I got a little out of control.
God:
Rain is meant to make you sad.
Olharp:
I am depressed because i miss rain.
God:
Couldnít feel anything and it felt fine
Olharp:
Thatís your song.
God:
So?
Olharp:
Will you give me rain?
God:
Straight back to the subject, huh?
Olharp:
Will you answer?
God:
No.
Olharp:
Quite a character, arenít you?
God:
Yes, i am.
Olharp:
You are just trying to irate me.
God:
Then iíd give you rage.
Olharp:
May i?
God:
You just love them, donít you?
Olharp:
Is it wrong?
God:
Right, wrong, who decides what is right or wrong? Even as afraid as i am to look like an idiotic self-belligerent bastard, i will answer with a question.
Olharp:
Oh, how unlikely of you... just for the record, it was sarcasm.
God:
What do you thing is wrong or right?
Olharp:
I couldíve figured it out myself.
God:
So much for appreciation, but thatís exactly what you have to do.
Olharp:
I know, iím a little out of the subject with my next question, but is really why i made the first one.
God:
Then, go on, give it a shot.
Olharp:
I was told that i wouldnít be able to try some sun.
God:
I was told the same, do not give him any sun.
Olharp:
Why?
God:
Have you seen yourself around other people? You are not the most sociable type of guy, and if you get a hold of sun, you wonít even bother about them, i guess thatís why.
Olharp:
I want.
God:
Didnít i just say i was told not to give you any sun.
Olharp:
Would you?
God:
Ehh, what the hell, i have to misbehave from time to time.
Olharp:
Then?
God:
I will not give you sun, instead iíll give you one of my own, itís a seasons mixture.
Olharp:
Straight up.
God:
Straight up.

It was the strangest thing i ever did, it was a three step trip, easily could recognize the first step, rain... the second one i can only guess... Sun for it washed away the rain, such strange euphoria of happiness but knowing him, i shouldíve known it wouldnít end up there, the sun faded away giving in to rain again.
Then it came to me the fourth stage of every problem... deception.

Drowsy as always, how long was it, i donít know? Was i talking about something, was i?
God:
Let me help you this time.
Olharp:
What are you talking about?
God:
An ending.
Olharp:
Still i cannot understand?
God:
Shouldíve imagined... what if i say something.
Olharp:
Something like?
God:
Are you sure you want to? We could have some more fun.
Olharp:
As usual youíve got me confused.

god usually stays in the shadows but before saying this god stepped right in front of me, it was just like looking into the mirror.

God:
You could listen to it and be done for, or we could have some more fun; as easy as that.
Olharp:
Why?
God:
If i got it correctly youíre not asking about my words.
Olharp:
Then why?
God:
You seem totally upset, is there something on my face? Hehe.
Olharp:
Pretty funny, huh?
God:
...
Olharp:
...
God:
Well then, guess that decides it.
Olharp:
What are you talking about?
God:
Iíll be staying with you for a little longer, do you mind?
Olharp:
Do whatever you want.
God:
Well then, see you around.
Olharp:
Youíre still here.
God:
Yes, i know.
Olharp:
...
God:
...
Olharp:
Nevermind.

I think a year passed since when an old friend spoke to me, it had passed a long time.

Dumantshine:
How are you doing?
Olharp:
Iím happy.
Dumantshine:
How come?
Olharp:
Youíve given up.
Dumantshine:
Hey, thatís not something good to say.
Olharp:
Now, youíre not going to go into another rant, arenít you?
Dumantshine:
Muack, iím going to pretend you didnít say that and go on.
Olharp:
Nice to have you talking to me again, though you were still here but missed your voice.
Dumantshine:
No need to tell, doesnít matter, still i think you had something to do with me failing.
Olharp:
You see, itís like your little game and you just have to win, ease up a little, long time no talk.
God:
She is right, you know, you had a bad attitude about it.
Olharp:
What could you expect, i told her i didnít want to, until finally i was forced to.
God:
Hehe, i remember, you made her cry and she only forgave you if you became her little guinea pig. I got quite some laughs out of it, but then you had to grow tired of it and protest, killed all the fun. She was a little exaggerated though.
Dumantshine:
You see, i am right, shouldnít be talking to you.
Olharp:
Ok, ok, calm down, just remember what you had me doing, i always told you i didnít want to.

We kept going on and on about all the things i had done and as strange as it may seem it was funny, for some weird reason we were the only who found it amuzing.
Then it came to me the fifth stage of every problem... manipulation.

Some time passed by, the order of actions didnít matter.
Dumantshine:
Let me give you a friendly advice, stop playing rock, scissors and paper with the shadows, every time you lose youíre made to do something stupid.
Olharp:
I was bored; i think iíll follow your word of advice but i should include you and him.
Dumantshine:
Hey, thatís not fair, what have we done to you?
Olharp:
Do i have to even tell you?
God:
The kid is right.
Dumantshine:
Youíre of so much help, just for the record i was being sarcastic.
Olharp:
well, for starters remember that time that i blacked out.
Dumantshine:
That was his fault, i told you it was too much for you to take at that specific moment.
God:
Hahaha, ohhhhh, i remember.
Olharp:
And i remember you had a little more fun than you should have to but i enjoyed, bet everyone ended up confused and scared. By the way what was it that you gave me expecting for me to lose control before falling down?
God:
Oh, i donít know how could you take it for so long before blacking out, but it was not my weather that made you fall.
Olharp:
I know, i knew since i lost and you dared me, thatís why i accepted whithout asking what you were giving me.
God:
Since you never asked... and the first stage was rage, the second one was breeze... still you keep surprising me... i thought you would die just with a little bit, and you smoked the whole thing, seemed like i could take advantage of the situation and give you a couple of pills to see some chaos before that happened but you had to be so controlled and had to survive, see there is no fun in that... killíem all i say, and you, you would be better off dead.
Olharp:
Same as always, but is everyone so scared of me now?
God:
Just one reason. I didnít want to even interfere while you couldnít control yourslef, besides i took some time before deciding if i should do something or if i should just leave you alone so you would learn your lesson, it was her who didnít hesitate in being of there with you.
Olharp:
So that is so, never knew...
by the time my face hit the floor i had no sight. And i was loosing my hearing.
Oh, i appreciate it.

Then it came to me the sixth step of every problemÖ confusion

Some time passed by alongside very curious beings and had such a strange way, wicked I would say but among them is where the solution was.

God:
What are you doing?
Olharp:
No!! I know
God:
You always knew, but you lost so you had to stay.
Olharp:
No!! you know
God:
Now
Olharp:
It is time.
God:
Not yet.

Thus Olharp waited and waited until it was time.

Olharp:
Is it time?
God:
You know
Olharp:
I know?
God:
You know what to do.
Olharp:
But what is that? I believe it is just that, it!; something that depends on future somethings, future facts and events that determine which choice is right and which is wrong? If I decide to, I could spit the wall, no change will that bring, If I decided to I could take a lifeÖ if I decided toÖ
God:
Choice
Olharp:
...

Then it came to me, the solution to every problemÖ freedomÖ



------
from all that was,
to all, that is,
the end


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