Cell-O-Bit
by damifino (Member) - published: November 27, 2011
Word Count: 48 Word Bytes: 340 Viewed: 622 times
Category - Poetry
© Copyright by damifino

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It's hard to be creative,
Sitting in this cell.
There is nothing to stir
My soul here,
Save the far off toll
Of a church bell.
It's hard to be creative,
With thoughts of freedoms guise.
There's nothing to beleive in,
Save the pain,
Save the lies.

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Comments

The following comments are for "Cell-O-Bit"
by damifino

salient point
I'd declare this poem perfect if not for beleive ....

what I liked - in particular is when that subtle rhyme slipped in - soul/toll but believe [note spelling] that the word 'here' in that line there was superfluous ....

loved the repeat of save which made it resonate as a word worth contemplating and used with 'soul' increased the impact for me.

yup .. lots to praise here.....

( Posted by: Pen [Member] On: November 28, 2011 )

one more thing
title implies flippancy which contradicts the character of the poem ... in my opinion

( Posted by: Pen [Member] On: November 28, 2011 )

I BELIEVE!
Thank You, Pen. Need to start using speel checker(lol)more often. I visited local inmates for the holiday, which inspired this verse. The title is a bit flippant-sorta humorous as compared. But I was stuck and the double meaning gave me a chuckle, so it stuck.

( Posted by: damifino [Member] On: November 28, 2011 )

Beyond Walls
Creativity...
is much bigger than it's confines
(I think you've just proved my point)

( Posted by: awhippingflame [Member] On: June 23, 2013 )

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