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I'm not sure what landmark is relevant so I'll ignore them all and make up my own. After all, it's my addiction and I believe everyone is different, to a degree.

What confounds me is that what I experienced last time I quit cold turkey doesn't seem to be prevalent this time. Cravings are minimal and they were out of this world in 1993 [or whenever it was]. Am I supposed to recall the date I quit last time when it's so far back in time? What I do remember is that I felt jangled for weeks on end. Even seeing someone smoking on TV would set me off. Now? I'm watching movies from the 40's & 50's and barely notice.

Seeing a cigarette butt would result in an irrational focus. I have to say there's a lot fewer butts out there nowadays.

I couldn't go into a store without wanting to buy a pack. This time? Don't even think about it. Amazing!

When I ask those close to me how come they aren't asking me about my progress .. they tell me they don't want to remind me of what I'm going through. This is apparently a commonly held credo. Quote:
I DON'T want to TALK about IT!!
is how it's been conveyed to me when they're referring to other people they know who went through the same tribulations. Me? Hell! I'm even writing a blog!

Perhaps, because I'm a writer I feel the urge to go on about it ad nauseam and chose to do a blog so I could vent without being globally tiresome. Maybe it's because I'm facing my demon rather than trying to pretend it doesn't exist. Could it be the enemy is neutralized by familiarity? Like the saying .. keep your friends close and your enemies closer? Like ... I've got your number and you're zero!

okay .. enough of that ..

unpleasant side effect ... my mouth is supersensitive and tastes revolting to the point of making me want to gag and requiring frequent tongue lashings of mouthwash, I don't like mouthwash and have always found it much too strong .. it's even more so now so I dilute it by half.

wonderful result - I can take a walk without gasping for air and having my lungs hurt.

Guess which symptom has more impact.

Doctor's visit on Wednesday was a treat instead of a trial. My super sincere doctor was absolutely delighted with my news and had great confidence that I had the .. um .. due diligence to carry it through.

That's another thing that amazes me. Everybody, who knows me well, is so sure I will succeed. Even those who know I didn't before. Do I appreciate their confidence in me? Of course .. and I can imagine my reaction if ANYONE told me I'd FAIL!

heh heh heh

------
"Tigers bloom where there's oodles of room." Zodiac Zoo


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The following comments are for "Day 19"
by Pen

due diligence
Good for you, Pen! Hope you get to the point where you no longer have to count the days and just live them happily and smoke free.

( Posted by: toscano [Member] On: November 21, 2011 )





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