Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

We ran with the White Horse
Like moonbeams and silvered streams
Slipping and sliding through
The Darkness.
Yet,now the ground is pelt
With fist and vomit
As His hooves beat down this dirt
-now mud-
In our veins,is now our hearts.

Related Items


The following comments are for "MUD VEIN"
by damifino

well ......
I really liked how this began but it fell apart at line four .. I'm thinking this might be one of the apocalypse horses? If I'm correct you managed something.

( Posted by: Pen [Member] On: October 23, 2011 )

a tip for you
You might encourage more dialogue .. feedback ... if you posted your replies instead of sending PM's ....

PM's - to me - are for members who already have developed a rapport over on site exchanges ...

The other tip I had for you depends on your sense of ...

oh .. never mind.

( Posted by: Pen [Member] On: October 27, 2011 )

Thank You Pen
your information is very helpful and you are so right.

( Posted by: damifino [Member] On: October 27, 2011 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.